Enjoy your Memorial Day

 Here's a post from a few years back. 

My quickest trip to the Jersey shore

 

If you live in New Jersey, the summer always brings on thoughts of the Jersey shore. Memorial Day is the traditional start of the summer season.  Often disappointing, the Jersey shore can be wet and cold and clammy, like it is today. Still, it always beacons to the Jerseyite as that potential paradise, a quick ride down to Parkway, to that bucolic if crowded institution, the shore. 

Our family did go to the shore occasionally, but it was an occasional, not a frequent excursion. My mother sunburned easily and my father could not swim, so at best we made it there maybe twice a year. 

One year my maiden aunt told my father that she had rented a place in Avon for a few days and we could meet her on the beach. Avon was a pleasant Jersey town, a little more exclusive than Asbury Park, and the family looked for a nice excursion that would check off the shore as well as the Aunt Rose visit from the calendar. 

It was a pleasant day. Once we got to the beach my older brother took his shoes off. One foot in, he stepped on a bee. The foot swelled up and he had a bad allergic reaction. Aunt Rose waved to us in the distance. My mother looked at Jim and (she was a nurse) decided he needed to go the emergency room. 

My father yelled at his sister, "Sorry Rose we have to take Jim to the hospital. He stepped on a bee. So long!"

Aunt Rose yelled, "But you just got here!"  

We drove back. Leaving Avon, I piped up with 
"Look, there is a sign for a hospital"

Mother: "No I don't trust these south Jersey hospitals. We're going to Hackensack." 

By the time we got to Hackensack Jim's swelling had dissipated.  We went home and I went to Pete's Pizza on Essex Street and got a pie. My shortest trip to the shore. 

Hospital hotels

 

After a recent day as an outpatient, I have been inspired to propose a new type of hotel. A hospital hotel. This hotel would provide no health services but would try to duplicate the experience of a hospital stay. So many people coming home from the hospital say they would like to experience their hospital stay again, but without having to get sick. These hotels would try to duplicate this exciting and comforting experience.

The experience would enfold at check in. The "patient" would have to answer a long list of questions, including their favorite sports as a child. The "patient" would then have to show a copy of the deed to his house, in case he might have to quit claim his home to the hospital for unpaid expenses. Then he would be put in a wheelchair while an orderly would bring him on a madcap ride through the metes and bounds of the hospital until he was brought to his temporary lodgings, Now he would attempt to put on a hospital gown. I think I put mine on backwards. 

In his hospital bed he would then be handed a remote control where he could watch television commercials. Eventually he would be given a menu for lunch. 

With his arm attached to a blood pressure machine that takes his bp at random times throughout his stay, and his finger attached to a do hicky that does something unkown the "patient" is immobilized. If he wants to go the bathroom he has to push a button to summon a nurse. 

After a long wait the staff comes back and prepares him for a procedure. Now the bed is rushed through the corridors at lightning speed where he is brought to another room where he is deposited and has to wait several hours until the procedure. Since this is a hotel instead of a hospital, the procedure is a lie down akido exercise.

After the procedure   the "patient" and his bed is raced through the corridors and returned to his room where lunch is waiting for him. Cold soup and a turkey sandwich are consumed. At dismissal the patient would again enter a wheel chair where he would be rushed at lightning speed, hopefully to a waiting car. Hospital hotels would be a swell way to duplicate the pleasures and comforts of a hospital stay. 

 

the Catholic Dilemma

 

Catholics have long suffered the contradictions that lie with being a good Catholic and supporting liberal causes. This has often led to theories that the Kennedy family and Biden  should be banished from the Catholic church. Like many Democratic officeholders who are publicly seen attending mass and then appoint pro-abortion judges, support trans rights and who are themselves divorced, in many cases more than once.

For those of us raised on a study of the Baltimore Catechism, religion can lead to a moral discomfort... I once worked with a woman who meticulously read the obituary section of the paper every day. When asked why she had such a morbid habit, she replied that she was checking to see if her ex had died. It was important to her because the notice of such a passing meant she could receive Communion at church. 

People who go to mass, or try to go to mass when convenient, then vote for candidates who support gay rights, divorce, transexual rights, legal abortions, and the right of a Palestinian state in the homeland of the bible are what is known as "cafeteria Catholics". Others staunchly vote Republican because of a belief that such candidates, unseemly as they may be, support the rule of God as they were taught during Confirmation lessons. 

Another tenet of the church is that of papal infallibility. I was taught in Sunday school that a pope cannot err. But what happens when a pope disagrees with an American president, over what the president perceives as a religious war?  This leads to a new type of Catholic, the cafeteria Catholic upended by the food court Catholic. This individual not only chooses different plates from the steam table but chooses from completely different cuisines. 

A voyage through the Strait of Hormuz

Just reading about Trump supporting a deal  on the Strait of Hormuz. Here is a suggested flyer to be presented to ships at the head of the strait. 

Welcome to the Strait of Hormuz

We hope you enjoy your journey through the historic Strait. Here are our prices, subject to change:

• Oil tankers 1 million dollars
• Ship carrying fertilizer $500,000
• Ship carrying food $400,000
• Ship carrying consumer goods $600,000

Other items? Give us a call.

Hungry? We sell the following: Lamb dorma, Chicken dorma, and Trump dorma for ten dollars per take out order.

Frequent customer?

Every time you travel the strait you will get a point. Ten points entitle you to a free voyage and a leather embossed shell casing of a U2-47. 

Photographers note: You may photograph the strait and its wildlife but we do not encourage the saving of images of our military installations and vessels.

Have a safe voyage! 😂😂 As-Salam-u-Alaikum!

 

Astronauts are again in the news

 Tonight astronauts are taking off from Cape Canaveral and orbiting the moon. I remember watching the moon landing from a bed and breakfast tv in Avon, New Jersey. Here is an old blog about the earlier Gemini era. 

YouTube travel videos

 

I have to admit I watch a few YouTube travel videos. Since people always ask me about free travel videos. here are the links to the ones I regularly follow:

Adventures and Naps:

https://youtu.be/71rE5xIUokI?si=Z88nQJNhgOahwc8d

That blonde woman in the isles of Scotland.

https://youtu.be/mlmFSDO_q1I?si=j-p_XP-DG0eIEgog

A Likeable couple that was also doing Scotland but is now documenting their Queen Mary half way round the world tour ending in Sydney,

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBhQuxcHU3aydk_zTXcbdTg

The redhead and the guy who gets in accidents, Cute.

https://www.youtube.com/@Theendlessadventure

Life in France. Okay

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCryJcPZSEQ

Eva in Africa. Driving in the dessert. 

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=eva+zu+beck