Is it by Churchill or will I have to sell my uncles farm in Normandy?

Netscape has a tendency to thrust on us unfunny comedy specials, silly millennial sitcoms and schmaltzy Christmas specials.  Still, by searching through the caverns of its fare, one can occasionally find an obscure show that is good for a few laughs.

My latest find is the very British "Fake or Fortune". It shows how a painting's provenance is analyzed using high technology, talking to families associated with the history of the work, and listening to the opinions of art specialists. The specialists criticized one Churchill work by noting that the Prime Minister sucked at drawing people and that the  people in the painting in question are too well executed.

The thing I like most about the show is when they interview people who have some connection to the work. Here we are given a rare look at the gentry of England with their posh accents,  living in genteel poverty in grand castles with bad plumbing.

Fiona will ask Philip "Oh dear perhaps if we could meet the daughter of the Earl of Thwickham they could tell us if the painting was in their uncle's will." Then we go to a beautiful room with chandeliers and Chippendales (but I suspect poor wireless) and get to meet  a dear eighty year old woman who sadly tells us that the wills were destroyed in the fire of 1949.

In an attempt to add drama to the story, our hearts are usually tugged at by the news that if the painting is real the owners will be able to salvage the horse farm in Sussex or bring the castle up to code. We are made to really feel for old moneyed Britishers whose lives will be so much better if only they can prove that the Monet in their possession is the real McCoy.

Editor's note: Sorry for all the Netflix reviews. I need to get out more. Now they are trying to get me to watch a Christmas show in German with subtitles. Fake or Fortune is also on YouTube.

How America ruined England

I've been happily advancing through season 3 of the Crown. Like most Americans, I find the trials of tribulations of Britain to be entertaining and satisfying, perhaps even more than our tawdry history here in the colonies. Sadly if unintentionally, many of the problems that appear in the Crown can be traced to America. Episode after episode shows how the glory that was Britannia has been laid low by the influence of those ruffians across the Atlantic.

Wallis Simpson, an American, is the first person to try to take the Royals away from their mission by stealing their future king. Then the Americans had to come in and win the war against the Nazi's, much to olde Winston's chagrin. Then, hat in hand, they had to beg America for money and used dear Lady Margaret to lure it out of the hands of that awful American president from Texas.

Prince Philip gave an embarrassing interview on the American TV show, Meet the Press, and caused much consternation at Buckingham Palace. Harold Wilson happily is shown destroying the small town commerce of Britain by opening an American style supermarket.

Today, beyond the scope of the Crown, the indignities continue. We have an American TV star married to a prince. We have dear Prince Andrew brought down by an American businessman and purveyor of underage delicacies. If only the Americans had kept their rock and roll, Walmarts, and other corrupting  influences on their side of the Atlantic, Britain would be much happier than it is today.

Quid Pro Quo

If there is one good thing that has come out of the Impeachment hearings, it's that all of us now know what "Quid Pro Quo" means. I'm waiting for someone to name a bar after the term, perhaps in a place frequented by lawyers.

Truthfully, we all live by quid pro quo everyday. We get something we want in return for something we reluctantly give. Our parents want us to go to Aunt Clara and Uncle Ben's 50th wedding anniversary. We see how we can use this to our advantage and the next thing you know we have borrowed the boat for the weekend.

Our son is complaining about needing a new pair of sneakers. We get him to agree to go to Aunt Bertha's house for her birthday. The son gets his sneakers and Aunt Bertha gets to see her favourite nephew. Quid pro Quo.

Our boss wants us to go to a meeting. We don't want to go. Our boss lets us take the day after Thanksgiving off. We go to the meeting. Quid pro Quo.

Unfulfilled quid pro quo can get a bit murky. Is it quid pro quo if the kid gets the sneakers and then gets a cold on the birthday of dear Aunt Bertha?  Our girlfriend wants  us to visit her parents, we go, but that night  she cuts off our sexual advances. That is thwarted quid pro quo. Sine qua non? 

California and the American dream

Northern California, as well as the Los Angeles area are experiencing the twin disasters of fire and power outages. They say that things always happen first in California and it looks like the damage from climate warming are coming there first.

Among my friends at college, the general view of where to move after college was decidedly in favor of California, or at least, the west. "F--k New Jersey" they all said. "I'm getting out of here to where the chicks are good looking and the air is clean. California is where I'm heading." Moving to Califiornia has always been the American dream.  I know there's an old expression, be careful of what you wish for.