The Monkees

I wrote about the Monkees today on the sixties blog.

See a man about a horse

Recently I was at the doctor's office and the nurse practitioner was taking blood. I mentioned that the doctor mentioned he wanted to do a urinalysis. The n-p gave me a cup and said go into the bathroom and "letter following 'O' into a cup". I was quite shocked. I never would say the letter following "O" to a lady. Actually I prefer the old English term, "I'm going to see a man about a horse".

"Sir, take this cup and go into the restroom and see a man about a horse". Sounds more proper to me.

Fishtown vs. Belmont

Charles Murray has a new book that's getting alot of attention, almost as much as the "Bell Curve". In his new book, "America: Coming apart" he describes two typical towns, the upper class successful Belmont and the white trashy Fishtown. In Belmont everyone is married, lives in the suburbs, goes to college, attends church on Sunday and has good jobs. In Fishtown, nobody goes to church, graduates from college, or gets married. People might have kids but they don't get married.

In a way, this is true. Most of our bosses are married, have kids, live in the suburbs, go to church and have wives. When they come home, their clothes have been cleaned and dinner has been cooked by their spouses, or possibly their maids. The folks in Fishtown go home from crappy jobs (if they have jobs) to their cluttered dirty apartments and they warm up a tv dinner while guzzling a beer. Ideally we should all aspire to live in Belmont, but somehow Belmont doesn't sound like a lot of fun.

Editor's note: I like the part where he says that marriage civilizes men. I guess it's time to go out in the woods and skin a squirrel for dinner.

First the IPhone then the handbags then the bottles

Recently I flew and after a few detours and finding out I was in the wrong terminal I had my boarding pass and was marching to my gate. I was standing behind some people and then someone pointed out that the 1/4 mile long line for security had a place for me at the end of the line. I got behind a woman who was texting on her I phone, had two handbags on the floor and a bag filled with ten half quart bottles of water. Every minute or so, a new group entered the security area and the line got to move about ten feet, then stop. The line would start to move and then the woman would get off the phone, pick up the two handbags, then the bag with the bottles and move ten feet with the rest of the line.

Every minute was the same. First she had to get off the IPhone, then the handbags had to be moved. Then the bottles. A minute passed. First the IPhone, then the handbags, then the bottles. A minute passed. First the IPhone, then the handbags, then the bottles.

As I had woken up very early my mind started to drift. I saw us getting married and walking down the aisle. The organ starts. First she has to get off the IPhone, then she picks up the handbags, then the bag full of bottles. We are married and visiting her sister's house. "Come on Stacy!" I yell from the car. Finally she comes out of the house. First she fiddles with the IPhone, then the handbags and then the bottles. I have to help her put the bottles in the trunk.

Years pass. She's going into hospice care. I am in a wheel chair. She comes up the steps. First she has to fiddle with the IPhone, then comes the handbags, then the bottles.

I shouldn't try to take early flights.

Super Bowl Monday

Should Super Bowl Monday be a legal holiday? It would allow everyone to unwind after the big game and party celebrations and all. On Super Bowl Monday we could loll around the house, clean up, eat leftovers and watch Madonna and our favourite Super Bowl commercials on You Tube. I think it is a swell idea.

Push ups

Today I was reminded of  those happy days of high school. How I long for gym class.   And the fond memory of  doing push ups. I don't remember why, but I know I had to do twenty push ups once in gym. Boy was I a sad sight to behold. And it was brought back to me today for today I saw Michele Obama and Ellen Degeneres doing a push up competition on daytime television. I hate to be a know-it-all but Michele's push ups were little girlie push ups. A real push up has your chin touching the floor, not a space six inches from the floor. I guess it's an election year.

The stages of life

A recent report indicates the changes in duration in time for a student to finish college. I think, in general, we have seen an elongation in the stages of life. In the early sixties a man got a college degree and could expect to meet a variety of recruiters on his senior year. He made the choice over which corporation he would work for and moved to a big city for a few years. There he had a few wild years, played the guitar, sowed some oats, and finally at age 24 got married and moved to a nice house in the suburbs where his progeny would go to school.

Today things have greatly become elongated in time. A typical young man can expect to go to community college for six years, then have a gap year where he works part time in retail, then transfers as a junior to a four year college, where he will take six years to get his bachelor's degree. Then seven more years leads to a masters degree. Now at age 38 he is ready to get a full-time job, which he finds at age 40. At age 40 he moves into his first apartment. Soon comes a baby or two and a few years later, marriage. At 50 he starts shopping for his first house. Unfortunately, following shortly is  divorce and foreclosure. Then a few years back in retail and he is ready to go back to community college to learn a trade.

At 56 he starts his new career as an air conditioning repairman but soon hurts his back and goes on temporary disability. A few years later he is ready for retirement. The modern American dream.