the Jersey Shore

I just read that I missed the casting call for the Jersey Shore. I might have been a good addition to the show. I'm from New Jersey, half Italian, a librarian. I like Italian hot dogs. Hey what could be more Jersey?

Still I might have to work on my pecs.

Communism is around the corner in Europe

This article states that the European crisis might bring about the return of the Communist party to Western Europe. As if we didn't have enough to worry about.

the Suits

Yesterday I was closing the elevator and I noticed five Caucasian males and one Asian female in $1000 suits standing in a row. Nothing strikes terror into a low level employee than the view of six "suits". "Oh no, we're going to be downsized! Oh no, we're going to be made more efficient!" One thinks.

At my advanced age, I realize now I will never fulfill my life ambition to be a "suit". I'll always be one of life's little people. I'll never get invited to parties in the Hamptons. I'll never have a $1000 dollar suit and eat on an expense account

At least I can dress in cheaper clothing so I don't have a big bill when I spill my Italian hotdog on my shirt.

Editor's note: Squirrel Nut Zippers sing about "suits".

Music for dogs

Not a lot of good news this week. The oil is still spilling in the Gulf. Our governor is making himself more and more endearing to civil service employees. This story caught my eye. Lou Reed and his wife, Laurie Anderson, are going to give a concert in Australia that is only audible to dogs. I hope they release it on an album. It would be fun to play it and drive the dogs in my neighborhood crazy.

Mother's day

We all know the drill for Mother's Day. You have to get to your Mother's house with a gift. Then you are fed a fattening meal and go home with leftovers. If you are upper middle class, you and your siblings and spouses take your mother to a restaurant where you eat an overpriced and fattening meal. If you are lucky, you may walk out with a doggy bag.

If you mother is in the grave you are supposed to visit it, put flowers on it, and stroll about and complain about the maintenance. "You'd think they could get rid of all these weeds!" you say. Later, you go to a relative's house for dinner. If your significant other has kids you may be allowed to attend Mother's Day there, however if you show up you have to bring a gift.

I realize how lucky I am. I can sit around the house all day long on Sunday in my underwear. I can drink beer, watch the game, and don't even have to shave. Needless to say no gifts.

This year, for the first time in ten years I bought someone a Mother's Day card. I realized that for the first time in ten years I did something for Mother's Day. Who knows, one day I might even have to take a shower on that day again. To all the mother's out there, "Happy mother's day!"

Clubs

Clubs are always short on cash, volunteers, and leaders. Leadership is the crucial shortage that can lead to the demise of a club.

The problem with leadership is it hearkens back to the essay I wrote a few years ago on lives. People who have lives usually have better social skills than people who don't have lives. If you don't want your club to be a total disaster, you should seek people who have reasonable social skills and can use the Internet (and probably have lives). Unfortunately time on one's hand, another essential requirement for officers in clubs, is inversely proportional to the social skills one possesses. The ideal leader is probably already involved with the church, her daughter's school, the softball league, has a full time job and is the house mother for an extended family ranging from wayfaring uncles to recent college dropouts.

Hence the dilemma of the overextended leader. I once was in a group where the only way you could guarantee that the leader would make the meeting was to have it in her house. I remember well sitting on her front porch waiting for our leader. Fifteen minutes after the meeting was supposed to begin she would roar into the driveway. Needless to say, the meetings ended late.