Being lousy at sports

I have always been lousy at sports. As a kid, no one wanted me on their team. I blame that on the fact that I had very few friends as a kid. At summer day camp I had to sit on the bus with the mentally disabled kid who also sucked at sports. As an adolescent I listened to the radio for hours with my poor coordination and skinny frame.

Now I am an adult and I don't have golfing or fishing buddies calling me up on weekends wanting me to make up a  foursome. I still suck at sports.

I drive around the area and suddenly come upon traffic jams in front of the high school. Everybody is watching their kids who are playing sports, and presumably, are good at it. After the game there will be barbecue and beer for the parents and baseball for the kids. Later the parents will engage in a little wife swapping  while I'll be at home watching Turner Classic Movies.

Today I sat down with a group of babyboomers and found out that people who shine at sports when they are young get arthritic and decrepit after they hit forty. At least that's what the lady drinking a Pinot Grigiot said. Apparently, if true, people who sucked at sports look better and have better health, at least comparatively, as they get older. That knowledge put me in a much better mood. Look I can sprint to the mailbox to retrieve my Netflix dvd. I'm so happy I always sucked at sports.