Office baby showers

I'm within two years of retiring now and I'm starting to think about what I will miss about work. I won't miss the commutes. Being late in the morning and rushing to put my socks on and one of them tears. I won't miss talking to the public on the phone. What will I miss?

After some ruminating I have decided that the thing I will miss the most is that one thing I would never get to take part in  if I didn't have a job. That is, being invited to a baby shower. Work is one of those places where men, especially men with cash in their wallets, get invited to baby showers.

It is a great treat and I am looking forward to watching the new mother open all those presents. I'll ask if it will be a boy or a girl. Someone else will ask if they hope on having a Cesarean. I've seen enough movies that I know what that is.

Usually there is a wedding shower, followed a year or so later with a baby shower. The director makes a speech at both events. The second baby is celebrated by the inner circle only. Female employees get one shower for the wedding and one shower for the first born. We don't want to go overboard on these things.

It's happened more than once in my long and estimable career that there has been a baby shower without there being a wedding shower, or even a wedding that I am aware of. Oh well, better not to dwell on such things.