Offspring

I have finally finished watching Offspring. 98 shows, each forty five minutes long. After three weeks I am finally done. What is Offspring? It is a highly popular Melbourne Australian comedy/serial/drama. A show about a youngish female obstetrician who works with other people of her age. They fornicate like rabbits. She also has a large extended family that procreates like rabbits. The show is sort of a combination of Call the Midwife and Parenting. Every few minutes a baby gets born. A few minutes later someone is having inappropriate sex. I get it now. Sex then babies, sex then babies. The modern version of love and marriage. Without the horses the carriages.

Plots never progress without the interruption of a cell phone call. Every ten minutes we hear a little twinkle. Experienced viewers can recognize which of the main characters is getting a call. They always interrupt whatever direction the plot was going in. In this way the show is modern.

So what have I learned from the show? I assume it is entirely accurate about life and maternity wards in Australia. First most obstetricians work in a hospital rather than private practice. Hospitals in Australia are full of gossipers. No one in Australia can ever keep a secret. Culturally, except that bars follow the Canadian model and are often known as hotels, Australia is almost identical to Southern California. The show did not have one reference to a kangaroo that I could see.

Like American shows of its ilk, there is a certain television magic to the show. Everyone lives in beautifully decorated homes and wears trendy clothing. Where does the money come from? Unclear. People fly to England on a moment's notice. No thought is ever given to airfares.

So now I am an expert on medicine, babies, family life and sex as practiced in Australia. I'd like to have a drink at the Union Club Hotel.