Retirement

It happened so quickly, I'm retired. There are rules to being a new retiree that I am learning. Here are some of them:

1) Have spare money. Don't expect all the money you are owed from work will be given to you right away.

2) For men the rules are different than women. Women are expected to immediately go into care giver mode when they retire. "I'm so happy you retired, Mom. Now I can get rid of that baby sitter and take Egon out of day care. Aunt Bertha will be so happy to see you every week and I need you to help with the Valentine's party. Now you have no excuses!"  Men are only expected to visit relatives on holidays and thankfully that does not change with retirement. 

3) Have a story and stick to it. Whether you plan to play golf or fish every day, visit the family, or finally start an organic garden. People will be very insistent on knowing what you are planning to do. Netflix is not an option. For me, I've been telling everybody I plan to write a book. 

4) Don't expect to suddenly be popular. If anything people will avoid you now since they assume you are a malingerer with too much time on your hands. 

5) Retirement is expensive. When you are at work, except for the occasional temptation of the vending machines, you are quarantined from spending serious money. As a retiree, lunch at the diner, the afternoon at Target, the movies,  and the early evening at the bar can get expensive. Ditto the weekly visit to the casinos.

I'm sure there are other things on the happy road to obsolescence. I'll keep you posted. I don't have an excuse now.