Thanksgiving shopping

One of the aggravations of November is shopping before Thanksgiving. Especially if you are not planning to serve an extended family on Turkey Day, the unexpected crowds in the supermarket can be a bit daunting. 

Walking through the store I spotted an older lady looking at pies. I wanted to shout to her, "Your children don't want a pie from ShopRite, they want a homemade pie!"  Seeing the freezers filled with turkeys I thought "Thank goodness I don't have to buy one of those things." 

The cashiers were all encumbered with long lines of shoppers with full carts. I decided to take my chances on the self-check-out line. I inserted my bag in the slots and filled it up with groceries and toothpaste. The secret is you have to make sure the scale underneath the bag registers all of your stuff or they will think you are stealing something. I literally had to juggle items on the top of the bag to make sure they all registered. I thought I was finished.

Then I was faced with a moral dilemma. I had neglected to pay for a bag of cooked salmon. It was hidden underneath the slot on the cart. I purchased the item, even though I could have gotten away with quietly putting it in my shopping bag. I figured I just shaved off time on my future stay in Purgatory. 

Later that night I was reading Slate and there was an article on Thanksgiving shopping. It talked about stores and their Thanksgiving give aways. That reminded me to check my receipt from the store. I looked at it and saw that jumping jippiders I won a turkey! The salmon had put me over the top!

Since I had a Thanksgiving invitation, I called my hostess and she told me she didn't need another turkey but could use a ham. Hence the ham I am about to bake. According to the Internet, it will require 3 and half hours and cloves. I'm sorry but I'm not going back to the store to buy cloves.