Christmas bellyaching

One of the nice parts of the holiday season is it gives us all lots of reasons to complain and bellyache. For the occasion, I let Aunt Agnes write a guest column.

The rain: This crummy rain puts me completely out of the Christmas spirit. Just an inch or two of nice white snow would do a world for my spirits.

Having to go to work on the day before or after Christmas. The roads have almost no traffic and here I’m cavorting along to work. Yuch. Humbug.

Having to put up with other people’s children at work. Daddy is off, the kids are off from school but instead of spending some time with their adorable children the fathers bring them into the office to have lunch with their poor mothers, who are chained to their desks.

People who put 20 foot high statues of Homer Simpson in their front yards. 

The scales. I put on five pounds! Too many Christmas cookies.

Christmas music. Humbug! I’m tired of hearing about poor old women getting run over by reindeers!

Trying to do other people’s jobs. The customer wants to know something that I don’t have any knowledge about. I should route her through to the cell phone of the lady, sitting in an airport, who would know.

The seven fishes. I hate having to cook seven fishes. I have enough trouble cooking one fish. All night I was refilling the water of the bacala. Humbug! I think we should open up a can of sardines and be done with it. 

Humbug. Listening to Italian Jingle bells again!

Editor's note: May you all have a happy Ukrainian Christmas.