Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The doctor's office

My father once said to me, "You know, the worst part of getting old is you spend all your time horsing around with these darn old doctors." The young college kid (male) has no prescriptions. Then in his thirties he picks up one. By the time he's fifty he has four. By his sixtieth birthday he has seven. By seventy he has twelve. And his wife has twenty seven. They have huge drug caddies just to keep up with the things. Finally somebody tells them the problem is that they are over medicated.

Going to the doctor's office nowadays is different than in the old days. Then you would read tired old Reader's Digests and try to guess the other patient's diseases. Now they have tv shows. Not ordinary shows like the View or Wheel of Fortune.

No, they show the Health Channel. I was sitting in the doctor's office watching the thing and noticed that every disease they featured, I had. "I have that!", I would say gleefully. Then they'd have another feature where a cute twenty year old would describe another disease. And I would say, "I have that too! I am lucky today."

Then they take you in and weigh you. I treat this like I am in security at the airport. Off go the shoes, the wallet, the keys. I need all the help I can get.

You think your turn will come when you finally get into the doctor's consultation room. But no, you have to wait there without tv for another half hour. At least here you can eavesdrop on other patients' visits.

My, do patients have ailments. Once in the eye doctor's office I felt like going into the room next door and shouting, "of course you can't see well at night, you're old!"

No comments:

Post a Comment