The king and his sons

Once in a kingdom across the sea there was a good and just king who had two sons. Harry the Red and William the Blonde. William had a beautiful wife who obeyed the dictums of the king, was a good mother to her children, and was beloved by all in the kingdom. His younger son, Harry the Red, married an evil woman from a rebelious colony in Los Angeles. The king looked upon his daughters in law. There was the good wife from the East and the wicked wife from the West.

Being kicked out of the kingdom the wicked wife said nasty things about the Royal Family on Netflix and Harry the Red revealed some royal secrets in his book. They spent the rest of their lives in comparative luxury in California and eventually got a morning talk show but the show had poor ratings. 

William the Blonde and his lovely wife did their duties as proscribed and served their country well.  

Editor's note: To be continued. 

My predictions for 2023

 Here were my predictions on conditions at the end of 2022 as made on New Year's Eve, 12 months ago:

Dow Jones         37650

S and P               5178

NASDAQ           17258

Unemployed        3.8%

Microsoft            365

Oil                       80

CPI                      3.9%    

The actual end of year as of today.

Dow Jones            33148         

S and P                  3839

NASDAQ            10466.5

Unemployed         3.7%

Microsoft              239.82

Texas Crude Oil    80.51

CPI                         6.1%

Like most of the world, I was caught with my pants down with regards to    predictions on inflation and the major declines in the market.

My prediction for December 31, 2023:

Dow Jones           36000

S and P                4500

NASDAQ           10800

Unemployed         5%

Microsoft             300

Texas Crude Oil    90

CPI                       5%

Historically, bad years in the market are usually followed by decent years. We will have a mild recession, but things will get better in the fall. Prices for hardware will go down but food prices will not diminish, only stop rising. The Eagles will be in the Super Bowl in January of 2023 but lose. They will not do as well in the fall. 

Boxing Day

Today we get to experience what it is like to live in Great Britain and to experience Boxing Day. This is the holiday which follows Christmas and is a legal holiday. This only occurs when Christmas is on a Sunday. The government isn't really open on Sundays anyway, so they have to close the post office, libraries, garbage disposal, town hall, etc. on the following Monday. Because of the bad weather on Friday and Saturday, Monday would normally be the day when we could get on with our lives but things are at a standstill in many areas because Monday is a legal holiday, ie. an English Boxing Day. 

I know I'm being a Scrooge but I'd like to throw out my Christmas refuse but the cans are all filled. I'd like to get the mail. I'd like to borrow a library book. Humbug. 

At least most of the stores are open. I went to my favorite supermercado and was able to use the self check out. It went smoothly. No message "unknown item in the baggage area". Don't repeat this but I think supermarket clerks quietly disable the scale for purchased items when they are short staffed. You didn't hear it from me. 

 

Those Frances Ha years

Recently I noticed that Hulu was featuring that hipster classic, Frances Ha. It's fun to watch it again now that it is no longer the newest thing. Surprisingly to me, it turned out not to be a dated retread of hipster Brooklyn in the 0-0s but a depiction of a period in our lives that many of us (not including engineering majors) went through in that period between college and our adult lives. 

Many of us nostalgically remember that fun time when we went home from college without a job, any money, a significant other, or a practical career. This was the time when we were home all day, if not at an occasional stint as a Kelly girl. That period when we smoked dope while driving in the afternoon and having occasional sex on the back porch. 

During this period, I drove to California and back, saw the Rocky Horror Picture Show at midnight, walked around Greenwich Village, and bought books and records. I still have my old Fugs records. At night I slept in my old room, the radio now playing Bob Fass instead of Cousin Brucie. 

Of course, Greta Gerwig had a less certain residence than mine, depending on friend relationships to determine her lodging rather than sleeping in her old bedroom. She has fun strutting the streets, but I am uncertain of her balletic skills that she is banking on.

She does get to go to neat parties, she is in the city and not in Hackensack. She has nice conversations, but drinks too much and overindulges. She takes a trip to Paris she can't afford and is told not to rely on  the bank of Mom and Dad. 

Eventually I drove out west to find my fortune and became a member of the workaday, car driving, tax paying masses. This last step on the road to adulthood is harder for the young today. It's not enough to find one's identity anymore what with high rents and student debt and all. 

Thanksgiving shopping

One of the aggravations of November is shopping before Thanksgiving. Especially if you are not planning to serve an extended family on Turkey Day, the unexpected crowds in the supermarket can be a bit daunting. 

Walking through the store I spotted an older lady looking at pies. I wanted to shout to her, "Your children don't want a pie from ShopRite, they want a homemade pie!"  Seeing the freezers filled with turkeys I thought "Thank goodness I don't have to buy one of those things." 

The cashiers were all encumbered with long lines of shoppers with full carts. I decided to take my chances on the self-check-out line. I inserted my bag in the slots and filled it up with groceries and toothpaste. The secret is you have to make sure the scale underneath the bag registers all of your stuff or they will think you are stealing something. I literally had to juggle items on the top of the bag to make sure they all registered. I thought I was finished.

Then I was faced with a moral dilemma. I had neglected to pay for a bag of cooked salmon. It was hidden underneath the slot on the cart. I purchased the item, even though I could have gotten away with quietly putting it in my shopping bag. I figured I just shaved off time on my future stay in Purgatory. 

Later that night I was reading Slate and there was an article on Thanksgiving shopping. It talked about stores and their Thanksgiving give aways. That reminded me to check my receipt from the store. I looked at it and saw that jumping jippiders I won a turkey! The salmon had put me over the top!

Since I had a Thanksgiving invitation, I called my hostess and she told me she didn't need another turkey but could use a ham. Hence the ham I am about to bake. According to the Internet, it will require 3 and half hours and cloves. I'm sorry but I'm not going back to the store to buy cloves.    

King may fire ladies in waiting

Looking through the news I see many horrific stories but the one that has upset me the most is the news that King Charles III, in a cost cutting measure, is thinking of making the ladies in waiting redundant. I have always looked at the job of being a lady in waiting as the one job I would most like to have, if only I was a posh English woman. How much fun it must be to kibbitz with the queen, advise on table settings, walk the horses at Balmoral and do other tasks. So much more fascinating than laboring along in a civil service job. Tempora mutantur. 

Why he won't be indicted

 

There has been a lot of speculation on what would happen if you-know-who is indicted. I suspect that is one of the reasons our Attorney General has appointed a special prosecutor to handle the case. There is a desire, a sensible desire, to keep our airports running, our interstates functioning, our state houses open and landmarks like Rockefeller Center making money off of tourists. A special prosecutor can delay things until he is somebody else's headache. 

You-know who is indicted. Thousands of white men in 18 wheelers converge and close the Capitol. Our interstates are closed as trucks block the entranceways and converge around the perimeters of our major airports. Armed male senior citizens men shoot down tourists at random in Times Square and Christmas markets nationwide. 

Its easier to let one guy get away with something than to cause chaos. To get along, you go along. 

Editor's note: William S. Burroughs describes this sort of thing in Naked Lunch. 

I voted!

One of the weird things I like to do that most people don't do is vote in stockholder elections. Today I was given the opportunity to vote my shares in the upcoming Microsoft election. I feel so powerful, influencing the makeup of a major worldwide corporation, even if I have an infinitesimal amount of shares. I like the sticking it to the man feeling of voting against the management recommendations. I voted to take the climate and staff diversity into consideration by the board, even though they were against it. The sixties still live on. 

 

Of cabbage night and "Spare"

 

One of the most terifying nights for a kid growing up in the late 50s was cabbage night. It was spoken about all over Fanny Hillers School. This was the night when all the juvenile delinquents marauded around town, putting soap writing on car doors, smashing pumpkins and even breaking windows. Soon it will be October 30, cabbage night. Many years later, I heard of a town where kids put "for sale" signs in front of all the houses on a couple of streets. Seems the father of one of the kids was a realtor and kept his signs in the garage. 

Finally we have a release date for "Spare", the forthcoming book by Prince Harry. People tottering on death will now have a reason to live into the new year as the release date for the book is January 2023. Cute title, named after the old expression about the heir and the spare. However, George the son of William is now the spare. 

It's a tricky thing for Harry. If the book has too much tattle tale, it could banish him from the Coronation, with all the Netfix footage it can provide. Still, you have to give the public something they don't already know. After all the book will not be inexpensive, at least in the beginning. Perhaps a story about him and William smoking pot or a cute story about Queen Elizabeth bathing him on boxing day.  The night Diana got drunk and threw a plant out the window at Buckingham Palace might fit the bill. The time Prince Philip punched out a waiter in the King's Arms in Leeds has never been fully told. I can't wait to read it. 

Editor's note: In the suburbs, it's called mischief night. 

Spotted lantern fly

 

There he is. Our least favorite aspect of wildlife.  I was just sitting on the bench in a park and said to myself, "Haven't seen any of those things so far. Maybe we won't get as many this year." Then I walked on the blacktop around the lake and I spotted one. I smashed it with my foot. It was easy. Usually when I try to step on an insect it flies away. This guy just sat there and splat. Death on the trail.  I must have nailed five of them. One of them flew away and I followed him to the grass. He flew away again. Finally on the third try you could hear harps. 

Now when parents take the kids to the park they can add "Step on the spotted lantern flies, kids!" The kids will have a swell time running up and down the trail pulverizing the critters. Later when the kids are home, Mom asks Pop "I've never seen the kids so excited and aggressive. What were you guys doing out there?"

Pop replies, "Just doing what we were told to do on tv. Killing those spotted things.  And we all had a swell time." I wonder if you can eat them. 

Editor's note: Just spotted my first spotted lanternfly August 17, 2023

The queen is dead

Just reading the itinerary of the royal corpse. I am getting bored with coverage of the royal funeral. I promise to turn the channel on any more news of the goings on of the Windsor's. 

I think it's time Harry and Meghan get jobs. Meghan could try to resurrect her acting career and Harry could start up a chain of fish and chips shops. I miss Arthur Treacher's. Of course, that would entail real work. People get tired of dilettantes who only do things so they have content to make their stories watchable on Netflix. 

Editor's note: I admit I can't get enough of it. 

Getting a real id.

 

I guess it's sort of like a TSA Pre-check in that it's a prestige item or id that you don't need and don't have to pay for, but you figure might come in handy sometime. Foregoing Pre-Check for now. Taking your shoes off is a nice aerobic while you are at the airport. I used to get it free when I was using United. Occasionally it came in handy, I don't fly as much now, both parents in their graves and I'm too cheap to pay $75.

Anyway, the sort of domestic equivalent is getting a REAL ID. I saw somewhere that you could get a REAL ID in New Jersey. I thought it would come in handy. I won't have to bring my Passport now when I go from state to state. That means I won't leave my passport in a hotel or bar somewhere. It will be home instead, nuzzled into its home. I found the website and made an appointment for REAL ID.    

I went through the list of things I had to bring. Passport, driver's license, bank statement. I brought paper documents, but I wonder if they would accept pictures from web pages. I noticed one clerk putting his hands between him and a proffered cell phone. I guess they don't want to read from your cell phone. They don't require a Social Security card but will accept a 1099 form that had it written on it. Still, none of the clerks were interested in looking for my Social Security number. Once they had the passport, all systems were on go.  

So, let's go through my day. The parking lot was busy, but I managed to squeeze next to a pickup truck. Immediately I walked to what I thought was the correct building. A man asked me what I was looking for. I said, "Real ID". I was standing on the side of the vehicle inspection center garage. He pointed me to the Motor Vehicles office. "It's that way, bub"

There was a line of one person outside the main entrance. When he entered, I followed in behind him. No point wasting all that air conditioning. I noticed the smell of something I later identified as pot near the inside door.  I said to myself that must be the local dispensary.  Or at least customers of that establishment.

I first waited in a short line while the clerk dealed with a young man with a difficult and complicated problem. I believe she told him he had to go to Trenton. Turning to me she looked for my name in the book. She found it!  I was quickly shown the line for REAL ID. 

A family having a lively conversation in Urdu was at the head of the next line. The daughter appeared to be the peacemaker. Soon it was my turn, I saw the next clerk. She looked at my stuff and gave me a tiny slip of paper and told me to sit in the chairs and wait for my number to be announced or put on one of the tv screen.

One change from the last time I went is that they no longer call you on the cell phone. Security concerns, perhaps.

After about half an hour I noticed my number was on the board. A minute later I heard my number on the speakers. I was a tight squeeze getting to the final desk. This time the clerk typed and took photos of my stuff. She took my picture. I looked grumpy. 

"If you don't like your picture I can take it again" the clerk offered. Sweet,   She took a second picture and I was all smiles. She said I would get my new license in the mail. She then gave me a sheet which I signed. Apparently that sheet was my temporary license. The cost was eleven dollars. They give you credit for your prior driver's license payment. Unfortumately, I don't think it moves up the date of your driver license expiration date. That would be nice. 

Editor's note: I wrote another blog on motor vehicles in 06. Apparently they used to call your cell phone back in the day.

Its all about the schools

This year, in addition to inflation, school issues are expected to be on the Republican agenda in the November elections. With Trump's troubles, and the possible lessening of inflation and covid issues, our children's education will be a major source of election rhetoric. According to the campaign ads our innocent virginal children are being subject to liberal proselytizing on gays, blacks, and trans gender issues. 

When I was in school, the civil rights movement, homosexuality and certainly trans issues never came up in the classroom. Gays and transexuals were limited to the hotbeds of depravity that emanated east of the Hudson River. We did get a smattering of sex education in health class. I remember an embarrassed gym teacher drawing a picture of a woman's vagina on the blackboard. Mostly we were taught we should not drink, buy a car, or have sex while we were in high school.  

There was a minor protest among the hip kids in junior year and the principal consented by adding one class in black history as a senior year elective. There they learned about Martin Luther King and people of his ilk. 

My theory is that this interest in childhood education started with covid. Before covid the kids were trundled off to school and out of their parent's hair and the parents got the occasional report card indicated the kids were doing well enough to go to college. Parents had no idea what those teachers were teaching and they were as happy as clams. 

The trouble started when the kids were being taught online. Occasionally while watering the flowers or carrying the laundry Mom would glance at the home computer and see what the kids were learning at online school. One day she saw a picture of Martin Luther King. "Well I guess they have to teach them that" she says. The next day she glances at the screen and she sees Malcom X. "Malcom X!" Mother cries. In subsequent days she sees the Stonewall riots on the screen. Then she spots the words "transsexuals". "What! mother cries. I didn't know they were getting all this in school."

The Republicans now have a new selling point. They will shield the children of America from gay rights, transsexualism and radical Black dogmas. Mom and Dad will be scared. They may not pull their kids out of public school but they will vote Republican in November.

Them's the breaks

 

It looks like I'm going to have to get a haircut and start combing my hair. The Boris Johnson look is now going out of style now that dear Boris is headed to the ashcan of history.  One politcal truism is that is better to be lucky than to be right. Brexit was a lousy idea, especially when Covid caused major disruptions in supply and labor. The Russian war made things worse. The knowledge that two sovereign parts of the United Kingdom, Northern Ireland and England had a tariff between them did not help things. Then there were the Covid parties at 10 Downing Street when normal people could not visit their own dying relatives. America again has the pleasure of observing Britain's troubles. Them's the breaks. 

A gnomes village

Traipsing through my local park a few months ago I spotted a gnomes village. It seems to be collecting more stuff and expanding. It has yet to be discovered by the camera crews and YouTubers that go for these types of things so I am not revealing the exact location. Sort of cute. I had to look up the word "gnomes" on the Internet. 

 

I shaved off the beard

It started with Covid. Millions of men throughout the world had to do something with their newly minted time. Many did home projects, maybe even watched the kids do school on the computer. Of course millions of men grew beards. I noticed on a hike that summer that most of the men were sporting facial hair they didn't have before. Since they didn't have to look presentable at the office they could grow their hair longer, grow a mustache or beard and even cut back on the once daily showers. 

Today I was looking up information on the Real ID program, and at one point I had to find my driver's license. I looked at the picture and said "boy, what a good looking guy". I then looked at the mirror and it struck me. Even though friends were supportive in the beginning, the truth is that a scraggly beard does not really add to my appearance. In a moment of spontaneity, I shaved it off. Did most of it with the electric razor but I had to use an old Bick disposable to finish off the job. Even now I have a five o'clock shadow. 

I've always wanted to go there

 

The other night I was sound asleep and was awoken by the sound of people talking in what seemed like a Germanic language. At 3AM it seemed perfectly fine for newly arrived European guests to have a conversation on one of the porches near me. The conversation occasionally lapsed into English. I could hear a male voice say "Oh, I've always wanted to go there."

A lady mentions an exotic locale and a guy says, "Oh I've always wanted to go there." I wonder what sort of places reside in our brains in the category of places we want to but never will visit.  People often say that about Greece or Italy. These are the types of places that are shown in travelogues to school children on the day or two before summer vacation. The teacher has finished the exams and is too tired to try to teach anything so she shows a movie about the cable cars of Lisbon. These movies are soon forgotten until years later someone mentions a place that is residing in our memory from that long forgotten movie. 

Should women get paid menstrual leave

 Spain recently passed legislation allowing paid menstrual leave, up to three days a month. New Jersey is also considering menstrual legislation. Many Americans are now considering whether monthly leave for "that time of the month" is a good idea.

I personally would favor such legislation. However, to be fair to men, there would also be what I call baseball leave. This would be one day a month when a man could go to the ballpark or racetrack.  Perhaps car shows could be scheduled for weekday afternoons. This would be fair to both men and women. What's good for the goose ......

Going back to the office

 For millions of Americans, the past month or so has meant the return to the office. After working from home for over a year, many companies and government agencies (i.e. New Jersey government) have been requiring a return to the office. While this is great news for restaurants that depend on the office workers for business, it has not been the best news for workers.

I recently was listening to the lament of a back to the office employee. "Now I have to rush in the morning and do my hair          everyday!" Before nobody cared what she looked like. "Now I have to deal with morning traffic!" Not like commuting from the bedroom to the living room. "And I'm still making coffee because the lazy people in my group wait for me to do it!" Well, she was making coffee before. "All the people I liked are gone and all the people I can't stand are here!" That always happens.  "Nosy Marilyn didn't know I was divorced and she insisted I give her all the gory details!" Every office has nosy people. 

Another development seems to be that in many cases, higher ranking people are still allowed to work from home while the peons are forced back into the office. So if you have a question you still have to email somebody. 

Having the boss away has its advantages. I remember I liked when my boss wasn't there. I could work without being interrupted or asked to go to surprise meetings. Sometimes you can work more efficiently when bosses and even co-workers are miles away.  

Shopping bag day

 

And now the second step in the Californication of New Jersey. The end of free plastic bags at the supermarket. Just watching the tv news and learned that some stores are giving out free re-usable shopping bags. Unfortunately the store I went to was not doing so. At any rate I have been collecting plastic shopping bags for months and have a few re usable bags I have collected over the years.

Things went pretty smoothly. I tempted fate by trying one of the  self check out stands. I could fit my plastic bag in the metal poles where the free bags used to be. I placed my large re-usable bag on top of the scale. I filled out the bags like I usually do.

At the very end the screen asked me how many bags I used. I was going to punch in 2 then I remembered those were the bags I brought and they may want to charge me for using their bags. Instead I  pushed the zero button. I got my change and my receipt and headed for home. 

I now need to remember to bring the re-usable bag back to the passenger seat to the car so I don't forget next time.  In a few years New Jersey will have a Republican governor and people will blame it on the shopping bags.

Elon Musk

Over the years, I have ignored certain public figures, even though they are constantly being discussed in the media. I could not recognize a record by Rihanna or Beyonce if you played it for me. I have not watched the Kardashians in at least a decade. And even though this is, nominally, an economics blog, I have never once mentioned Elon Musk. 

For some reason, I have never been that interested in him. I have no intention of buying a Tesla, although I'm intrigued by the electric pumps at the travel courts. I have no interest in going into space in one of his vehicles. I never read Twitter, although it is apparently the way most media savvy people get their news. 

Now he is talking about buying Twitter. Will he, won't he, can he, would he? is the big news that people are preoccupied with now. I don't know. I should care because one of my mutual funds is invested heavily in both Twitter and Tesla. Just to show I'm not a luddite, I am finally going to listen to the new record by Billie Elish. 

New Jersey is becoming California

 

The image I have always had of New Jersey is that it is a place where men work on their cars in the driveway while listening to old records of the sixties on a rather loud radio playing WCBS FM. Today, though, a number of developments are leading me to believe that New Jersey is becoming more like California. 

A few years ago I went to Los Angeles and at the Safeway in Santa Monica I went in to buy some food for my room. The clerk eyed me suspiciously when he saw I didn't bring a burlap bag with me to bring said groceries home. "I'm from New Jersey", I apologized, before he sold me a reusable hemp bag with a picture of Big Sur on the front. Now, New Jersey is not going to be offering free plastic shopping bags anymore. My kitchen is knee deep in plastic bags now as I hoard them until May. 

Of course the next way New Jersey is going to become California-ized is when ordinary people can legally buy pot in dispensaries. When I was in college you could buy "Colombian" or occasionally "Vietnamese" from your colleagues on the dorm floor. As a treat, he might sell "hash". Today you are supposed to choose among a wealth of varieties they never had at school. You can choose indica or sativa, tinctures or gummy bears, vaporizers or buds. I have no idea what I'll buy when that happy day comes next week. I know I'll have to bring my own bag, preferably a hemp one. 

Next year, people will be coming to New Jersey to use the slot machines, sports bet, buy pot and obtain an abortion. New Jersey will still have Democratic senators and most young women will be sporting tattoos. Just like California. Hope some of that new revenue goes to pay my pension. 

Jury duty, revisited

There it was in my mailbox. A small blue card, looking like it purposely wants to be ignored. I look at it. It's probably nothing. Then, yikes, I read it. Jury duty!👿👿

I can't believe it. They want me to do jury service. Jury duty when you are retired is completely different from when you are working. When you are working it's like a nice break from the toils of the workplace. Instead of having to deal with those pesky library patrons I would be away from it all. Ensconced in the courthouse away from computers that do not start, printers that need toner and complaints about best sellers not being on the shelves. 

When you are working, jury duty allows you to chisel. You get out at 3PM and instead of going back to work you can run by the store and perhaps grab a choice stool at your favorite bar before it gets busy. You get a long lunch and can see that sculpture at the park. But when you are retired it means giving up your own time. Your own time is so much more valuable than work time. People who are happy to gab on the phone when at work will cut off a caller when they are at home. At home they are busy because it's their own time. Retirement hours are my hours.  Jury duty interrupts the happy idle hours of retirement. 

No to permanent Daylight Saving Time

 I have written about Daylight Saving Time before. Now the Senate, perhaps by mistake, has voted to have permanent DST. As anyone who lives in the north, drives to work, and keeps their car outside, it is a bad idea. From December to February, when I was working, I had to dedicate an extra five minutes in the morning to scaping ice off of my windshield. If there was any snow the night before I also had to get rid of the snow on the car. Millions of car commuters go through this every winter.

If we had permanent DST the procedure would be worse. One hour less in the morning would mean it would still be dark for the commuter leaving home before eight. The sun would not have the time to at least ameliorate the process by a little bit at least. Kids would have to walk to school or wait for the bus in the dark in morning. Grouchy adults and kids would be grouchier. Ditto for grouchy cars. 

All I do is charge things

 

If you were to ask me what I do now that I never had to do in the past, its charging things. I wake up in the morning and charge my cell phone. Then I have coffee and start charging my Kindle. I need to vacuum today so I have to charge up my portable vacuum cleaner. Soon I notice the ipad is running low so I charge it. I want to take I walk later so I have to charge my Fitbit watch. 

Of course I have it easy now. When I buy an electric car, charging that will be my big chore of the day. 

Gas prices deja vu

 

Wow. Gasoline prices have gone up!   It is a story a lot of us old farts are familiar with, ergo my blog from ten years ago that also talks about high gas prices. Going even further back, I remember right after I graduated from college there was a gas crisis. There were block long lines to get filled up in New Jersey. The problem was only solved by alternate gas days. Under that system if your license plate began with an odd number you could get gasoline on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. It sort of worked. 

It also helped to have a regular dealer who would favor a known customer with a hand wave and a space at a reserved pump. The old man felt guilty about this because he had abandoned "Dick's Shell" earlier that year for the bargain gas dealer near Modell's. Mother had to get gas during that period. She had never abandoned dear old Dick. 

Back in 1974 we were told we were being punished by the Arabs for the Israeli gains in their war. Today we are told that it is because we are boycotting Russia. Funny as soon as the headlines are out the gas went up, even though the gas may have been purchased weeks ago. When the crisis ends, gas prices will go down. But the gas stations will take their sweet time about lowering their prices. 

Another post on Better Things

Better Things, mandatory viewing for aging hipsters, is back again for its final season. This year the kids are older and are starting to grow up. Still obnoxious, they are starting to smooth out a bit and show a bit of responsibility. They are finding out that they are not Eugenie and Beatrice after all. 

In British sit coms, when the novelty is starting to wear off, we often see a costume show. This is a show where the laughs come from watching the cast in outrageous costumes, perhaps alluding to the pantomime roots of English humor. It is usually a sign that the show is starting to become tattered at the edges. Same for Better Things, where half of an episode is dedicated to Pamela mugging with period costumes. Still it was fun to see what a Hollywood costume shop looks like. 

The season is still young. The fact that you have to watch it on the night it premiers to avoid the Hulu surcharge makes Monday nights special. It has been a long time since Monday nights were special. 

The end of masking

Many governors are now ending the masking mandates for schools and stores. This is partially because the incidence of covid 19 is finally going down. Although this is obstensibly because of a desire to "follow the science" I suspect that governors and mayors wish to be re-elected and most Americans are just plain tired of the masks.

A real life example. We are driving on the road and we experience a sudden downpour of hail or rain. We pull over at the rest stop. We wait ten minutes. Ten minutes later we get back on the road. The weather is just as bad, but by now we are bored and hungry and tired of sitting in a car that is not going anywhere. Eventually, we say "hang it all, let's get back on the road, I'm tired of sitting around."

People are just tired of the masks. Even if they say on the television that we should still wear the things at a point we say "damn the torpedoes", let's take off the blooming masks. 

No I don't want to wake up to an inspirational message

 This morning I asked Alexa for the weather. After telling me it will be raining and sleeting all day it asked if I would like to be woken every morning with the daily mindset drill. I said no. I'd rather be grouchy in the morning while drinking my cup of coffee. Sometimes Alexa can act like an over eager assistant. 

Of airports and 5g service

For anyone who has ever flown in this century, the cell phone and  the air passenger are inseparable. One pays for one's flight with the cell phone, gets boarded with the cell phone, uses the cell phone while on the ground, and if one is willing to pay the fee uses the cell phone in the air. This seems to be a potentially problematic relationship with the advent of 5G. Apparently passengers using their cell during landing can disrupt the pilot's navigation operations to a potentially disastrous degree. Europe does not seem to have the same problem because their bandwidth for cell phones is separated from the bandwidth for the altimeter greater than here in the USA. 

I have a potential solution. Block all cellphones on the plane and in the airport. Install phone banks with landline telephones for the use of passengers. Perhaps a blackboard could be updated with messages for arriving passengers. This should allow the country to safely move to 5g service with little inconvenience, well maybe a little  inconvenience to the flying public. 

Secret Santa backfires

 

So I went to a Meetup Christmas party. They had a Secret Santa gift exchange. I got a truffles oil and flavor set. I was perfectly happy. Then the host noticed there was an extra gift that no one had received. Since my birthday is closest to Christmas, I got the extra Secret Santa package. It was a popcorn popper machine. 

Since my lady friend could not make the event because she was under Covid quarantine I offered her the popcorn maker, since she had already paid to attend the event. She said "I have enough junk in my house" and refused the popcorn popper.

A friend convinced me to use the popcorn popper myself, since un buttered popcorn is high in fiber, low in calories, and nutritious. Hence, I started using the popcorn popper. It worked well and the popcorn was pleasant as a snack. 

A few days later I bit into an old maid and broke my tooth and dislocated a filling next to my crown. Food kept getting caught in the new gap next to my lower bicuspid. I had to make a dental appointment.

Today I was recommended that I get a crown put over my tooth. With my dental insurance covering most of the cost, I still will owe six hundred dollars for my share of the work. 

I believe the cost should be divided equally. The organizer who gave me the popcorn popper should give me $200. The lady friend who did not want the popcorn popper should give me $200. The friend who recommended I should use the popcorn popper and eat the popcorn should pay me $200. To me this is fair. 

Editor's note: An old maid is the term used for an un-popped popcorn kernel. Today the term may be politically incorrect. 

Santa Claus is back in the garage

 

Here's an oldie from 2013. As we take down the wreaths and the tree and try to find a place from all the presents and boxes, the plastic Santa needs a place too. Since I don't have a garage it will be the storage closet in the basement. 

Another Christmas come and go

The fun the tinsel ho ho ho

But now it’s over no no no

And Santa’s back in the garage.

We sang our hymns and cookies made

But now that cheery time will fade

Christmas visits have been paid

And Santa’s back in the garage.

Oh holy night is now forgotten

Old wool socks replaced by cotton

I was so glad now feeling rotten

And Santa’s back in the garage.

So here’s a toast to the new year

Hot spiced cider now is beer

Winter gloom instead of cheer

And Santa’s back in the garage.

Next to the gas for the lawn mower

Near the sand and the snow blower

Spirits high now getting lower

Santa’s back in the garage.

End of year top 100 records back in the day

 I just wrote a blog on my Sixties blog about the New Year's practice of radio stations doing end of year hits lists.