Saturday, July 8, 2017

Storage bins

The trailer where I am to put my stuff.

Every Christmas when I go down to my little storage bin in the basement I say, "You know, some time I should clear out some of this junk!" A nice project for when I retire.

Well, last week I had a notice on my door saying "All storage bins must be emptied in two weeks. There is a trailer that has temporary storage bins for your convenience. This will allow us to rebuild the basement and physical plant of your building. Thank you for your cooperation."  A quick perusal indicated that the temporary storage bins had maybe 40 % of the space of the old bins. Looks like somebody is going to get some exercise. Oh, I wish I had a son.

I have been methodical, doing a little bit at a time. Some moldy boxes for appliances that I no longer own (or at the very least are well beyond warranty) have been thrown in the recycle bin. Luckily there was room. I have found a lot of old Christmas cards, decorations,  and two plastic Christmas trees. I have found an air pump for the air mattress I no longer have along with a beloved old tent I used in Denver and upstate New York as well as a newer tent I have never used.

I often wondered what ever happened to my 35 mm camera. After I got a digital camera it was disused and ended up in the storage area. One day I'm going to take up film photography. Look there is a musical t shirt. Probably needs batteries.

I have discovered I have a spare pair of Venetian blinds, left by the old owners. I can use those. I have found a bookcase left by the old owners too. I can use that in my home office. I really shouldn't have spare paper and paper towels sprawled on the floor. A little wax and I can spruce things up a bit with that. Have to find out if is steady enough to support weight. Look, a spare kitchen cabinet I didn't know I had. Happily it fit in the temporary quarters.

Finally, the project is finished, I'm not in traction, and I can now look down on my neighbors who have yet to clear out their bins. They'll be okay though. They have sons.

Editor's note: When projects come up that involve physical labor it is handy to have sons. People with sons actually know there is a great disappointment when their son is in California and they have to pay a kid to do the job.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Casual Mondays



We all know about "Casual Fridays" at work and are usually told explicitly what not to wear. "No cutoffs, exposed navels, exposed undies, unclean trousers, etc."

My question is about those days that are sort of like Fridays but not really Fridays. These are the days most people are not at work at all, because they immediately precede a holiday. For example, this coming Monday is between Sunday and the Fourth of July. Most people will not come in anyway, but for those loyal souls who do come in on Monday, is it permissible to treat it like a "Casual Friday" even if it's a Monday?

Of course, most people are of the give em an inch and they'll take a mile variety. They know they can get away with coming in dressed as they please on Monday because no one who could possibly care will be in anyway. Unwritten rules allow for liberal interpretations, in the opinion of staff,  including the extending of "Casual Friday" dress to any day before a holiday.

On Monday people will bring their children to work with them, take extended pizza breaks with fresh pizza in the breakroom, and skip out at least fifteen minutes early. I hope they don't trip on the stairs in their flip-flops.

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Stop hiding your aging neck

It's that time of the year, at least for those of us who are too  cheap for premium channels, when the pickings on tv are pretty slim. It seems every night when I glide across the cable offerings I come upon "Stop hiding your aging neck". This show is starting to interest me.

When I think about problems I have, hiding my aging neck does not seem to be one of them. Perhaps it should be.  Is that why I spend Friday nights alone? Is it my aging neck? Perhaps it is an avant garde program disguised as a bad infomercial. I will have to watch it.

Editor's note: Finally watched "Stop hiding your aging neck". Especially liked the never before aired bondage scenes from the Gilmore Girls.

Friday, June 23, 2017

I must be on my way to that fateful age



I've been warned that as I approach my sixty fifth birthday I'll be deluged with mailings from companies wanting me to buy their Medicare supplemental plans. When my father came close to sixty five the same things happened to him. My mother commented when she got a letter from Lorne Greene, "I thought he was dead!"

Some of the mailings look quite official and make you think. "Oops I better open this official piece of mail." Then you notice on the corner in tiny print it says, "Not affiliated with any government agency". Fooled me!

Actually it is an important and unfortunately, an expensive decision. Perhaps the best decision is to do nothing and rely upon the goodwill of the government to provide. 😄

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Girls reaches its finale if not its climax




I can finally say I have seen all six seasons of the most influential television program of the 21st century, Girls. Here is a flashback to earlier reviews.  Now that we have reached the end the girls are no longer girls but women, if women of a sort. Here are some comments about how each has grown and predictions for the characters and the actors who played them:

Hannah: She got published, got a writing gig, got pregnant, and apparently got a full time professorial job at a posh college. She is a woman now. She is even past Adam, getting wise when he admitted she would have to pay the bills if he was to be the step-dad. Lena Dunham is not pretty enough to get major acting roles, rather she will write some hit screen plays and be the Nora Ephron of her generation.

Marnie was the girl next door cute one. She could sing but her looks have deteriorated so she is not as cute as she was. Allison Williams is destined to be a second rate star, perhaps perching on a CBS three camera sit-com in the future.

Shoshanna is another character who grew up. Joining the yuppie set, she has a new husband and better looking and richer friends now.

I don't know Zosia Mamet's future. Perhaps she will pop up occasionally on independent films. One thing she needs to do is get rid of the white hair and black eyebrows.

For me Jessa is the standout of the series. Sort of like a millennial Anita Pallenberg, she is the former classmate you hear about at parties. She joined a commune. She is in rehab. She is backpacking in Indonesia. She met a millionaire and is living on a yacht in Burma. Then one night she turns up at a party and you find out she is living with her mother.

I see a decent film career for Jemimah Kirke.

Adam Driver is the hot hipster who always gets layed at parties. Perhaps he will settle down with Jenna but the two of them will struggle, especially after she has twins.

Adam already has a decent film career.

I always thought the guitar player Desi had more talent than his partner Marne. Who knows, Girls tends to have weak male characters. At least Ray got the coffee shop and Elijah got a Broadway role.

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Millenials are killing napkins

When I was a tot, our household had napkins, paper towels, toilet paper and tissues (we called them Kleenexes). One day visiting one of the proto hipsters of my adolescence, I noticed the guy had a roll of toilet paper prominently displayed on his desk. When I sneezed, he pulled off a block or two and gave them to me. From then on, I never bought tissues again, at least until my fiftieth birthday.

Recently I came across two articles about how millennials had substituted paper towels for napkins. It made me realize I, myself, hardly a millennial, had stopped buying napkins in my twenties and still don't own any. I have to admit I don't host dinners in my kitchen, but still...

Napkins and tissues are things that are supposed to re-emerge in a man's life after he gets married, gets a mortgage, and starts hosting dinners at home. There is the matter of ascetics. Especially if you have company over, a paper towel in a place setting is pretty UGH. An old fashioned cloth napkin is best, but to be more informal a paper napkin with a cutesy picture is also acceptable.

For me, eating a meal in front of the television, I find paper towels work fine. I buy paper towels in groups of ten to save money.  Unlike fruit and vegetables, paper goods last a long time. Now that I'm aware of the decline of paper napkins, I'm tempted to buy a pack. With a cute design. To be ironic.

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Why did the chickens cross the road

Yesterday I was driving through Imlaystown, a rustic old town south of Freehold, on the way to a hike. Suddenly I had to halt for a chicken crossing. Like movies made in scenic Italy, the chickens seemed to have the right of way. There they were, with a few brightly decorated roosters ( a fellow hiker said the were accompanied by peacocks, although I cannot attest to this). I honked but that only made them freeze in the road. Finally they started up again in their journey. The chickens crossed the road.

I made it to the hike on time and used the porta potty. Using the porta potty is one of the pleasures of travel in the United States.

Editor's note: It's wonderful to know New Jersey still has its backwoods towns where chickens still amble across Main Street.