Sunday, April 24, 2016

There are things men don't need to know about

Recently I was watching television and lawdy, I came upon Samantha Bee, those two Jewish girls from Brooklyn, and Amy Schumer. My oh my, things were different in my day. In those ancient times women didn't talk about tampons, bodily functions, or the baser things in life. Women were angelic things, well mannered, and deferred to their boyfriends on matters of politics and where to go out. 

I think I could spend the rest of my life not watching a television show about minstrel cycles and farting and not miss a thing. What is so funny about tampons anyway. Things have changed since my day. No wonder women have to work. No man would want to support them. 

Editor's note: Another blog from Aunt Agnes.

Monday, April 18, 2016

Charley couldn't get off of that lane

Just came back from a nice trip through Pennsylvania. Rode on the famed Lincoln Highway, saw Valley Forge, Gettysburg and a couple of historic towns off of Route 81. I read in a travel guide that Carlyle had a "hippie vibe". It definitely had a hippie vibe. Lots of antique stores, craft shops and Victorian architecture. Went to a luncheon spot that looked like someone's living room. Sort of a poor man's New Hope.

One development I noticed off the PA Turnpike is that they have EZ Pass only exits. I hope that trend doesn't come to the Garden State. It reminded me of the Kingston trio sixties hit "The MTA".

When he got to the exit it said EZ pass only Charley couldn't get off of that lane.

Friday, April 8, 2016

Postal rates went down

Yes, today postal rates on a letter went from 49 cents to 47 cents. For the millions of us who boughts stamps in bulk because the Forever stamps would always mail a letter no matter how high postage got, we are now losing money. If we bought first class stamps tomorrow we would only have to pay 47 cents. Gotcha!

Saturday, April 2, 2016

Waiting to get a blood test

I was asked the other day to think of the one place I'd like to be. I thought of watching a sunset at Key West, watching football at at Super Bowl party, hanging at the bar with male friends, hanging out in an art museum with female friends?  Walking around in downtown Lisbon? No, I decided, the place in the world I love the best is the waiting room at Labcorp.

I can think of no other place in my travels where you meet a happier group of people. Everybody is hungry, since most of them are fasting. The drinkers are starting to get irritable because they could use a drink about now. The old people are wondering if at the end of the day, this blood test will put them in a nursing home. The television is on too loud and appears to be aimed at the lowest level of intellect. Loud with clowns and lots of cheering. What's to cheer about at ten o'clock in the morning?

I walked in and wanted to fill in my name and the time. I couldn't find a pen. The clerk pointed at the daisies. Apparently the pens are disguised as flowers. They probably beep if you walk away with them. Some people cheat on the time. I guess they figure if they write an earlier time than it is you will get in earlier.

A scream, "help wanted in room one!"  Two staff people run into the crisis room where perhaps the patient is gushing blood. I think to myself, "Golly I hope this doesn't tie things up" instead of praying for the possibly dying person in room number one. It's every man for himself at the blood test office.

Now I am at the service desk. "No blood work done unless you can produce a current credit card!" is the sign on the desk. It is nice to know we live in a trusting society. I am given a small yellow plastic receptacle. That is for "you know what". At least nobody said the "p" word.

Soon I am out of the place. I can have a greasy breakfast of eggs and Canadian bacon and a few beers after 5. Suddenly the world is a happier place. At least until I get the results.