Hero sandwiches

I don't know if it's still true but in the 70's there was a rule that upon graduating from college you had to drive to California to find your identity. I obeyed the law and drove the Ford Falcon to California with "Crazy Bob". The first place we stopped was Charleston, West Virginia. My friend was convinced that the dance came from there. Many years later I realized the famous Charleston was in South Carolina.

I remember being impressed by the fact that there was a commercial AM station nearby that played bluegrass music. We went to a sub stand.

Today, returning to Charleston WV after all these years I went to lunch and ended up going to a sub shop and having a hero sandwich. They still put mayo on ham sandwiches.

The page 69 test

The page 69 test

Recently I read about the page 69 test. The theory is that if you open a book and like page 69, you'll probably like the book. It's sort of like the flip side theory. I developed this theory as a teenager. In this theory, I posited that if you like the flip side of a hit single, you'll probably like the album. It shows the group has depth. It's like meeting someone at work. At work you see the person's page 69 not just the hit single.

Give it the old college try

Many of us try and fail at endeavors. Failed musicians, politicians, Lothario's give up and take on more prosaic endeavors. With Libya, America will probably give up in a few weeks but we will always be able to say, "We gave it the old college try".

Editor's note:

Recently finished reading A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson. In this entertaining book on walking the Appalachian trial, the author and his buddy twice give up on hiking the AT. But at least they gave it the old college try.

the future

Many years ago as a child I rode through Futurama at the 1964 New York World's Fair and saw what I imagined to be the future. It was many images of what I would come to think of as the future.

Last week, with planes bombing Libya, Saudi Arabia invading Bahrain, women leading a revolution of sorts in Egypt, a partial meltdown of a nuclear plant in Japan it occurred to me. BINGO. We have entered the future. The dark, chaotic, unpredictable world of the future. From now on we will be living in the future. The future has begun.

A sister with a summer place

In life, we often wish for things that we don't have. A man comes home from a busy day at work and sees a sink full of dishes and nothing of interest in the refrigerator. The bathroom needs scrubbing and he's in no mood to cook or clean. He imagines a pretty wife, adding spices to the stew, the sink clean and the bathroom looking fresh and inviting. His clothes are all freshly ironed and hanging in the closet. "Oh to have a wife!" he thinks.

The working woman goes through her condo. "I hate those bathroom closets! I hate that shower-head." She imagines in her mind a husband. A cute guy, dusty with shaving from the power saw, getting ready to stain the cabinets he is building.

"Oh to have a husband!" she thinks.

I have simpler thoughts. I dream of having a summer place. No, too much work and responsibility. What I want is to have a sister who has a summer place. A pleasant place, perhaps near the shore or the mountains. I would have a standing invitation. A place to go on Memorial Day, Easter, Labor Day, the Fourth of July. And of course there would be a boat.

"Where are you going for the weekend"? the nosy secretary asks.


"I'm going to my sister's summer place."

"Lucky you."
A change of scenery. Lots of parties with summer people. My own room reserved just for me.
Married people and people with sisters with summer places are going to tell me I am dreaming. Most husbands don't build cabinets for their wives. Most wives don't sweat over a hot stove. Most sisters only invite their brothers to their cottages once a year, to help entertain the other relatives.

Joe McDoakes

I've been trying to think of anything good that came of my recent hospital stay. After some commiseration I would say that I learned to appreciate cable TV, especially TCM. And thanks to TCM I have discovered Joe McDoakes. How wonderful it must have been in the 40's and 50's to encounter this series. Settled in your seats ready for the feature, a special treat before Cary or William came on the screen. Joe McDoakes. Each featured a booming announcer describing a modern day problem and the situation being acted out by Joe McDoakes, who later became the voice for George Jetson. And to think they made 63 of them. Classics.

Hospital gowns

Some of you may have heard from the grapevine that I was in the hospital for a spell. The

hardest thing I had to learn was how to tie a hospital gown. That took me half an hour the first time, only to be told by the nurse I had put it on backwards. I also learned how to use a portable urinal, sleep through noise, and choose from a menu. Navigating the menu is difficult at first, as the knowledge of pain avoidance in bad food is more relevant than choosing appetizing selections.

Sickness has been so overdone in blogs and magazine articles that this blogger will probably avoid the topic in the future. Just like every baby boomer has their sixties coming of age stories, now they are all coming up with their heart-by-pass and cancer stories.

The nursing home had a plethora of events. Bingo, movie night, wheelchair relay night, but one thing that caught my eye was happy hour. Here people drink non alcoholic beer and juice shooters. I was thinking this country needs a place where people would be taught how to drink, smoke, have affairs, play cards, and taught the pleasures of recreational drugs. But, alas, we already have such places. They're called colleges.