Old t shirts

Last week I got a phone call from the Lupus Foundation. They didn't want money. They wanted me to put out a bag of old clothes for them to pick up. Sounded easy at the time but it forced me to choose among my most prized belongings. My old t shirts.

After throwing in some old pajama tops I never wear and some socks with holes in them I came to the t shirt containers. I have two large storage containers I got at KMart a few years ago and there they were. In forty years of buying and being given t shirts as presents, surely I had a few hundred I could give away. 

It turned out to be not as easy as it sounds. Matt Nokes in a Detroit Tigers outfit almost made it to the Lupus bag but I thought "One day it might be valuable". Perhaps he will do something noteworthy in a few years and I can sell my t shirt for hundreds of dollars. All of the trips I've made over the years were represented in the loot. Tokyo, Nova Scotia, Scotland. My title Data t shirts from when I lived in Denver stayed. A t shirt saying "President Bill Clinton salutes the can-do spirit of East Texas" stayed but Bodacious barbecue from Austin got tossed. I almost tossed my Weird New Jersey t shirt but it too stayed put. 

A Bud lite t shirt from the eighties got tossed. So did a bright orange t shirt from the Butterfly Festival from a few years back. I was always afraid to wear something that loud. Still a lot of my old t shirts got saved. A good session in the machine and they'll be good as new. And I promised myself to put some forgotten shirts in the rotation for the summer.

Louie CK

As most of the TV seasons are coming to an end, Louie C K is just starting up. Last week he had a show that got a lot of attention,  It was the show that asked why middle aged guys with beer guts never ask out overweight women. I dunno. Maybe we're afraid they'll say yes.

With most of TV aimed at hip young (or at least young) people it's nice to see a show aimed at middle aged men with beer guts. He sort of represents an every man. He has the whiny, annoying daughters, the crummy apartment, the out of style pants.

Of course we really don't all have the life of Louie C K's that is portrayed on the show. He does have a cushy job. How easy it must be to go to a nightclub every night, tell a few jokes, and have earned enough money to live in Manhattan. He also gets to hang out with celebrities like Sarah Silverman and stay up late, go to bars, play cards, and have enough money to eat out for breakfast.

Still it's refreshing to see someone who's not young, or pretty, schlepping around sort of like a normal person. You can pop open a can of beer while watching the show with the feeling Louie is doing the same thing after the show.

Mother's day gifts

As we get older our mothers start dying on us and we feel a bit of remorse when we realize that we don't even have to send a card or buy flowers at the supermarket on Sunday morning. People who buy flowers at the Shop-rite on Sunday morning are what my mother used to classify as "last minute Joe's". It's like you couldn't deal with Mother's Day until the last possible minute and then you combine it with buying dog food and hot dogs for work.

I remember when my father bought my mother a washing machine for Mother's Day. Mother was actually quite thrilled to have something she could actually use, would make her life easier, and wouldn't give her hay fever. Last week I helped a friend buy a refrigerator and it reminded me of when Mothers got refrigerators and stoves on the second Sunday in May. Sears had prices on the machines that were higher than what they had on their website but they matched the price. A lesson to be learned. At any rate, for the mothers out there, Happy Mother's Day!

Tea taste test

Idle hands being the devil's workshop, yesterday during coffee break I noticed I had two different kinds of tea bags. I had Shop Rite as well as Lipton. I never noted any real difference between them but always assumed the Lipton was a tiny bit better since it was the name brand. Yesterday I did a taste test. I microwaved two cups filled with water and the two tea bags. I sampled the two teas. 

The results? I could not tell them apart.  The tea bags looked the same. The amount of tea in the two bags seemed to be the same. The flavor seemed to be the same to me.  The color was about the same. Perhaps next time I'll try a more exotic (and expensive) tea. 

Leggings

One of the questions besetting modern man is the question of leggings. Who should were leggings? When are leggings appropriate? Recently a school banned leggings. People throughout the world are debating the issue of leggings. In Britain, there is a movement afoot to sell leggings to men. I would show the pictures but this is a family blog. Probably the safe way to deal with leggings is to wear shorts over them. Leggings and only leggings? I suppose in the right settings. Casual Fridays? Perhaps in banks and insurance companies but I would avoid them at wakes.

Deep in the heart of Texas

I spent the Easter weekend visiting kinfolk in Texas. We got in the Buick van, equipped with two child seats, and plenty of other seats for the grownups and dogs, and we were off. We traveled about two hundred miles, passing farms and cattle ranches throughout Texas. The signs are different in Texas. In addition to the religious slogans I passed a store with the name "Condoms to go". Never remember seeing one of those back east.

In Texas they aren't afraid of fracking. They have it in public parks in Dallas and even below the runways at DFW. Oil derricks pumping oil are a common sight in the parking lots of shopping malls. Yep.

The highlight of the trip was a visit to the Tyler Rose festival museum. Here we learned the history of the Tyler Rose Festival, especially the crowning of the queen and got to see dresses with trains that extend about one hundred feet. I guess they do things big in Texas.

The food was good. Nothing like barbecue with pinto beans and cornbread. Still it's nice to be back where they know how to make a decent pizza and don't say y'all every two minutes.

Easter thoughts

Easter is a major holiday in the Catholic church. Although not as eventful as Christmas, the ending of Lent, the new suit and the dinner spent with relatives in your new clothes make it a special day. Or at least, a day a little bit out of the ordinary. Lent is the period where you are supposed to give up something (like candy) and put your extra dimes in mite boxes. After Easter you can stuff yourself. The altar at church is purple during Lent but white on the big day.

Good Friday is a day off from school. If it is late enough in the year, it is traditionally a good day to plant gardens. My mother said she was taught that whatever goes into the ground on Good Friday will come out of the ground. I guess that is why grumpy relatives are never buried on that day.

Holy Saturday I remember decorating eggs with the Paas kit. I notice now they recommend coloring eggs using the Internet. Well in my day... I also remember hiding eggs around the house. One fall day my mother discovered an egg under the couch when she was vacuuming. It was getting a bit gamy by then. I don't remember public Easter egg hunts like the kids get nowadays. They seem like fun. Easter Sunday you put on your new suit. I remember walking up and down Kaplan Avenue with my new suit and tie. Never again would the suit be so clean.

The weirdest Easter I can remember is when my aunt died. Uncle Joe and a forlorn looking Philip showed up at the house. The relatives tried to look cheerful. Another Easter I remember we didn't have that many people, maybe a bachelor aunt or two. By the afternoon I was starting to yawn. Then I looked out the window. Black clouds were everywhere. Frankie's market had burned down again. We all ran to see the fire. That saved the day for me.

Editor's note: Yesterday I passed a rabbit on the way to work. I wished it a Happy Easter.