Walking has taken on new meanings

As life in America moves ever faster and as our waistlines get ever larger, a new movement is overtaking our shores. Namely...walking somethings.

Walking meetings

This seems like a really fun Monday morning at the office. The office manager is growling into a megaphone about productivity and limiting our breaks to fifteen minutes. The staff is limping along, too much partying last weekend.

Walking school buses

This is a nice way to save the tax payers money. You coral all the kids together and a few parents or spare staff members. Everybody walks to school. Instead of sitting in a bus the little tykes are getting exercise. "A hundred bottles of beer on the wall..." they sing.

Walking dates

Walking dates can be fun. They are cheap (unless you keep stopping for things) and an efficient way to gauge the fitness of your potential life companion. Avoid these if you are out of shape. They can be tough especially if the other person is in better shape than you.

Betty hiker: I am having so much fun. This is so much more fun than swilling beer in a bar.

Barry hiker: Huff....Huff... Huff... Could you go a little slower? Boy, I need a break.  Perhaps we could stop off at the Queen and Camel for a quick one.

Halloween humbug

When I was a tot my mother insisted that our family never wore store bought costumes. My mother liked to show off her rural roots and sewing skills in late October. I was a little Dutch girl, a little Dutch boy, a farmer, Tom Sawyer, well you get the picture. Texas straw got re-used year after year.

Halloween was  okay. My brother, with my assistance, carved out a pumpkin. School had a Halloween party. We walked around the neighborhood with the girls up the street and collected candy.

Seventh grade my mother celebrated. No more Halloween. No more costumes. Her kids were too old for Halloween.

I lived a relatively Halloween free life until I moved to Denver. The branch manager loved the holiday and made the staff dress up in costumes. My mother was several states away so I had to design my own costumes. One year a few of us went as African Americans. It was fun, although it might be politically incorrect nowadays.

Now I am an adult and am still designing Halloween costumes. I have no ideas so far. In 2008 I went as the Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulsen. Does anyone have any ideas? Halloween. Humbug.

The rise and fall of the Pope

You know honey, this Pope is okay. He cares about global warming,
immigration, and wants us all to follow the golden rule.

Maybe it's time we started going to Mass on Sunday. I know it's fun getting up late, but gee we could be part of a real community at church.


Today in the news: Pope meets with Kim Davis

Then again, there's nothing quite like hanging out in your Jammie's on Sunday morning.

The folks forty fives

The folks are long gone but one of the legacies they left is a brown case filled with singles. The presence of these records is a mystery to me because I never remembered them buying records when I was a youth, although I think my father paid for my purchase of Downtown and Pepino the Italian Mouse.

Going through them I have moments of "what were they thinking?" along with trying to guess which parent bought which record. I also can't figure out where they bought them. Perhaps Frankie's Market? Perhaps my father bought them in Times Square when he missed the bus and had time to kill waiting for the next one. Hard to figure.

I always remember the folks as middle aged people who wouldn't tear through the house with a new record in their hands. Myrtis! I bought a real hot track today! Seems out of character for the old man.

I do remember my father playing records on Saturday morning. He had the job of giving breakfast to the kids. Mother had been working til 11PM the night before at the hospital. I remember waking up to "Wake up little Suzie" and "How much is that doggie in the window".  It was a way of waking up the boys and a little treat that Mother slept through.

There were some country or at least country influenced records in the box. Pee Wee King did some square dances. Then there was Jimmie Rodgers and "Honeycomb".  Roy Rogers was represented too.I suspect that was Mother's influence.

My parents hated rock and roll. Yet Buddy Holly and Chuck Berry are represented in the box. How mysterious.

Later in the box, children's records start to show up. There's Dennis Day reading Snow White and Davey Crockett. Must be the influence of my big brother when he was a tot.

It's beer o'clock

The Oxford English dictionary has added some words to its online version. One of the more notable ones is beer o'clock. It means simply that it's time for beer. After one has been toiling at work or at a task and one is happily finished for the day, comes a moment of happiness.

"What time is it?" says Frank.
Joe, looking at his watch replies, "It's beer o'clock!"
Later at the tavern, the pair reminisce over the day.
"Boy we almost ran out of sheet rock!' says Frank.
"Well at least there was nothing left over, waste not want not" says Joe after quaffing a few.
"Let me get the next round", the bartender offers.
Suddenly, the mood changes. The door opens and a harried middle aged woman enters, accompanied by two crying children. She speaks to Frank.
"So here you are! You promised to take the kids to bible study and now I'm late for needlepoint!" She hands the whiny children over to the father.
Frank, the wife, and the kids depart the bar.
"Happy beer o'clock!" Joe shouts to his buddy.

Dismaland

Apparently, Dismal Land has turned out to be a huge hit. Thousands of people are lining up to see what is apparently a Britisher's image of a good time.

It's almost as much fun as owning Asian stocks.

Putting socks on with wet feet

I was recently discussing the merits of work versus retirement. I said the worst parts of going to work are getting up and trying to get to work on time. Especially when you are in a hurry and :
1) Not having time to dry your socks after the shower so you find yourself putting socks on wet feet. The socks cling to your feet and become immovable. The absolute worst thing is when they tear and you don't have time to put on a different pair of socks.

2) Getting outside and there is a sheet of ice on your windshield. You are too late for work to let the defroster do it's thing so you scrape your windshields, back and front.

3) You hear on the radio that there is a traffic jam on the highway. You figure, "Oh they are always behind. By now the roads are smooth sailing."  Then you get into a traffic jam exactly where they said it would be.

The best parts of getting to work are:

1) When you wake up in time and are able to have a second cup of coffee and maybe even eggs.

2) When you are late to work but none of the supervisors are due in. Coming in late can be like a tree falling in the forest.

3) Getting to work and you hear a fresh piece of gossip. Gossip at work makes the entire day worthwhile.

So there they are. The pros and cons of going to work everyday versus retiring.