Bill O'Reilly

For years I have watched Bill O'Reilly before going to bed. I like him because he is in the "spin free zone". Now he's in trouble. Why? Because he always tell the truth. I'm of the opinion that it's always the woman's fault. If you want to leave their husbands and go on tv I guess they have the right but to bring down a decent person like old Bill isn't right.

Easter

A few years ago I wrote an Easter blog. Happy Easter. Today was also my old man's birthday.

Self flushing toilets

I have a gripe. The gripe is about the new self-flushing toilet they put in at work. The theory is that most people are too lazy or too distracted to flush the toilet. However I have a gripe. After I do my business and stand up to horse around with the toilet paper it flushes. Then, after I put in the toilet paper I have to flush it again. I don't see how turning one flush into two flushes is efficient or saves water. 

Yesterday I was sitting on the john thinking about my pension when suddenly the toilet flushed unexpectedly. I felt like I was using a bidet as I got an unexpected rinse in a place I wasn't expecting. Seems the water was higher than usual due to toilet paper or something jamming the mechanism. I guess it could have been worse. New Jersey, unlike some states, doesn't have alligators in the sewer systems.  

You gotta have a fall guy

In the Maltese Falcon, Humphrey Bogart proposes a fall guy. In order to give the police something to keep them out of their way. The truth is that in most things, you need a fall guy. The guy who takes the blame.

A bunch of kids are rough housing just as the teacher walks in. One kid, not even the worst offender, gets caught climbing a chair. He gets punished while the rest of the gang look on like the boys choir in a Bing Crosby movie. You need a fall guy.

Same as with health care. With Obamacare the rich, and the successful small businessman took the fall. They had to pay the extra taxes and fines. Now the Republicans are writing a plan and all the taxes and most of the fines are gone. The problem is there's no fall guy. That's why it doesn't make fiscal sense. If there is any fall guy, it's the poor. The poor are getting rambunctious though. They are tired of being the fall guy and could make it difficult in the next Congressional elections.

The question is who should be the fall guy. The insurance companies? The doctors?  The hospitals? The old? No, the old will vote you out of office. The young? Yes, let's hang it on the young. Let young people take the fall. They talk big but they don't vote.

When I was in high school there was another kid in my English class who applied to Rutgers. We both had pretty much the same grades, but we couldn't both go to the same school. College admissions wouldn't allow two guys from the same school on campus. He had to take the fall. In politics, as in life, you need a fall guy. In the Maltese Falcon it had to be Elisha Cook or Peter Lorre. Somebody has to take the fall.

A day without women

I woke up late this morning, expecting an easy ride to work. With all the women taking off, I figured the highways would be empty and the parking lots would just have a few SUV's for the few brave male souls at work. I was wrong. It was just a normal day, everybody seemed to be in as usual. Oh well. The media made a big deal of the day anyway.

WXPN radio celebrated the day with an all woman's playlist. The Internet had lots of articles on the day including an article about how women do a lot of unpaid work in this country. Somehow, I feel left out of enjoying all this unpaid labor. Mother in the cemetary and no wife on the horizon I have to cook, clean, shop, launder, etc. all by my lonesome.

Sometimes I get wistful and imagine married life. I come home and am greeted by the smells of a hot manicotti in the oven. The bathroom is pristine clean. My laundry is divided into whites, colors, and my shirts have been ironed. Unlike the rug in my living room, the rug is freshly vacuumed and a  smell of pot-pourri fills the air. Fresh daisies greet me in the living room. The kids are back from soccer practice and the wife parks the car and kisses me hello.

Like  William Powell in Life with Father I inspect the kids ears at the dinner table, then take a look at the stock page in the paper. Married life isn't so bad. As I take off my shoes and watch the basketball game I can hear my wife running the dishwasher in the kitchen. After that she will fluff up the pillows in the bedroom and check on the lad's homework. Is this the way most married men live? Perhaps but I am doubtful, just a bit.

Comfy theater seats

The movie theatre near me has remodeled. It has gotten rid of the old style theatre seats and put in those new comfy theatre seats. Sort of like sitting in the reclining chair in Grandma's house, the seat you could never sit in when Grandpa was alive.

I guess it's an attempt to woo back the baby boomers with our herniated disks and arthritis. Yes they are comfy. They also have reserved seats which you have to pick out in advance. Next time I'll get closer to the screen.

I read that some theatres have "love seats" where couples can sit in small sofas without the dividers. Cute. still I feel a little guilty. I thought uncomfortable seats made you concentrate on the movie more.

Office baby showers

I'm within two years of retiring now and I'm starting to think about what I will miss about work. I won't miss the commutes. Being late in the morning and rushing to put my socks on and one of them tears. I won't miss talking to the public on the phone. What will I miss?

After some ruminating I have decided that the thing I will miss the most is that one thing I would never get to take part in  if I didn't have a job. That is, being invited to a baby shower. Work is one of those places where men, especially men with cash in their wallets, get invited to baby showers.

It is a great treat and I am looking forward to watching the new mother open all those presents. I'll ask if it will be a boy or a girl. Someone else will ask if they hope on having a Cesarean. I've seen enough movies that I know what that is.

Usually there is a wedding shower, followed a year or so later with a baby shower. The director makes a speech at both events. The second baby is celebrated by the inner circle only. Female employees get one shower for the wedding and one shower for the first born. We don't want to go overboard on these things.

It's happened more than once in my long and estimable career that there has been a baby shower without there being a wedding shower, or even a wedding that I am aware of. Oh well, better not to dwell on such things.