King may fire ladies in waiting

Looking through the news I see many horrific stories but the one that has upset me the most is the news that King Charles III, in a cost cutting measure, is thinking of making the ladies in waiting redundant. I have always looked at the job of being a lady in waiting as the one job I would most like to have, if only I was a posh English woman. How much fun it must be to kibbitz with the queen, advise on table settings, walk the horses at Balmoral and do other tasks. So much more fascinating than laboring along in a civil service job. Tempora mutantur. 

Why he won't be indicted

 

There has been a lot of speculation on what would happen if you-know-who is indicted. I suspect that is one of the reasons our Attorney General has appointed a special prosecutor to handle the case. There is a desire, a sensible desire, to keep our airports running, our interstates functioning, our state houses open and landmarks like Rockefeller Center making money off of tourists. A special prosecutor can delay things until he is somebody else's headache. 

You-know who is indicted. Thousands of white men in 18 wheelers converge and close the Capitol. Our interstates are closed as trucks block the entranceways and converge around the perimeters of our major airports. Armed male senior citizens men shoot down tourists at random in Times Square and Christmas markets nationwide. 

Its easier to let one guy get away with something than to cause chaos. To get along, you go along. 

Editor's note: William S. Burroughs describes this sort of thing in Naked Lunch. 

I voted!

One of the weird things I like to do that most people don't do is vote in stockholder elections. Today I was given the opportunity to vote my shares in the upcoming Microsoft election. I feel so powerful, influencing the makeup of a major worldwide corporation, even if I have an infinitesimal amount of shares. I like the sticking it to the man feeling of voting against the management recommendations. I voted to take the climate and staff diversity into consideration by the board, even though they were against it. The sixties still live on. 

 

Of cabbage night and "Spare"

 

One of the most terifying nights for a kid growing up in the late 50s was cabbage night. It was spoken about all over Fanny Hillers School. This was the night when all the juvenile delinquents marauded around town, putting soap writing on car doors, smashing pumpkins and even breaking windows. Soon it will be October 30, cabbage night. Many years later, I heard of a town where kids put "for sale" signs in front of all the houses on a couple of streets. Seems the father of one of the kids was a realtor and kept his signs in the garage. 

Finally we have a release date for "Spare", the forthcoming book by Prince Harry. People tottering on death will now have a reason to live into the new year as the release date for the book is January 2023. Cute title, named after the old expression about the heir and the spare. However, George the son of William is now the spare. 

It's a tricky thing for Harry. If the book has too much tattle tale, it could banish him from the Coronation, with all the Netfix footage it can provide. Still, you have to give the public something they don't already know. After all the book will not be inexpensive, at least in the beginning. Perhaps a story about him and William smoking pot or a cute story about Queen Elizabeth bathing him on boxing day.  The night Diana got drunk and threw a plant out the window at Buckingham Palace might fit the bill. The time Prince Philip punched out a waiter in the King's Arms in Leeds has never been fully told. I can't wait to read it. 

Editor's note: In the suburbs, it's called mischief night. 

Spotted lantern fly

 

There he is. Our least favorite aspect of wildlife.  I was just sitting on the bench in a park and said to myself, "Haven't seen any of those things so far. Maybe we won't get as many this year." Then I walked on the blacktop around the lake and I spotted one. I smashed it with my foot. It was easy. Usually when I try to step on an insect it flies away. This guy just sat there and splat. Death on the trail.  I must have nailed five of them. One of them flew away and I followed him to the grass. He flew away again. Finally on the third try you could hear harps. 

Now when parents take the kids to the park they can add "Step on the spotted lantern flies, kids!" The kids will have a swell time running up and down the trail pulverizing the critters. Later when the kids are home, Mom asks Pop "I've never seen the kids so excited and aggressive. What were you guys doing out there?"

Pop replies, "Just doing what we were told to do on tv. Killing those spotted things.  And we all had a swell time." I wonder if you can eat them. 

Editor's note: Just spotted my first spotted lanternfly August 17, 2023

The queen is dead

Just reading the itinerary of the royal corpse. I am getting bored with coverage of the royal funeral. I promise to turn the channel on any more news of the goings on of the Windsor's. 

I think it's time Harry and Meghan get jobs. Meghan could try to resurrect her acting career and Harry could start up a chain of fish and chips shops. I miss Arthur Treacher's. Of course, that would entail real work. People get tired of dilettantes who only do things so they have content to make their stories watchable on Netflix. 

Editor's note: I admit I can't get enough of it. 

Getting a real id.

 

I guess it's sort of like a TSA Pre-check in that it's a prestige item or id that you don't need and don't have to pay for, but you figure might come in handy sometime. Foregoing Pre-Check for now. Taking your shoes off is a nice aerobic while you are at the airport. I used to get it free when I was using United. Occasionally it came in handy, I don't fly as much now, both parents in their graves and I'm too cheap to pay $75.

Anyway, the sort of domestic equivalent is getting a REAL ID. I saw somewhere that you could get a REAL ID in New Jersey. I thought it would come in handy. I won't have to bring my Passport now when I go from state to state. That means I won't leave my passport in a hotel or bar somewhere. It will be home instead, nuzzled into its home. I found the website and made an appointment for REAL ID.    

I went through the list of things I had to bring. Passport, driver's license, bank statement. I brought paper documents, but I wonder if they would accept pictures from web pages. I noticed one clerk putting his hands between him and a proffered cell phone. I guess they don't want to read from your cell phone. They don't require a Social Security card but will accept a 1099 form that had it written on it. Still, none of the clerks were interested in looking for my Social Security number. Once they had the passport, all systems were on go.  

So, let's go through my day. The parking lot was busy, but I managed to squeeze next to a pickup truck. Immediately I walked to what I thought was the correct building. A man asked me what I was looking for. I said, "Real ID". I was standing on the side of the vehicle inspection center garage. He pointed me to the Motor Vehicles office. "It's that way, bub"

There was a line of one person outside the main entrance. When he entered, I followed in behind him. No point wasting all that air conditioning. I noticed the smell of something I later identified as pot near the inside door.  I said to myself that must be the local dispensary.  Or at least customers of that establishment.

I first waited in a short line while the clerk dealed with a young man with a difficult and complicated problem. I believe she told him he had to go to Trenton. Turning to me she looked for my name in the book. She found it!  I was quickly shown the line for REAL ID. 

A family having a lively conversation in Urdu was at the head of the next line. The daughter appeared to be the peacemaker. Soon it was my turn, I saw the next clerk. She looked at my stuff and gave me a tiny slip of paper and told me to sit in the chairs and wait for my number to be announced or put on one of the tv screen.

One change from the last time I went is that they no longer call you on the cell phone. Security concerns, perhaps.

After about half an hour I noticed my number was on the board. A minute later I heard my number on the speakers. I was a tight squeeze getting to the final desk. This time the clerk typed and took photos of my stuff. She took my picture. I looked grumpy. 

"If you don't like your picture I can take it again" the clerk offered. Sweet,   She took a second picture and I was all smiles. She said I would get my new license in the mail. She then gave me a sheet which I signed. Apparently that sheet was my temporary license. The cost was eleven dollars. They give you credit for your prior driver's license payment. Unfortumately, I don't think it moves up the date of your driver license expiration date. That would be nice. 

Editor's note: I wrote another blog on motor vehicles in 06. Apparently they used to call your cell phone back in the day.