The Jersey shore

There are two types of people in New Jersey. Those who flock to the Jersey shore on weekends and those who don't. The ones that do get to enjoy the traffic jams, overpriced food, entrance fees, crowded beaches and iffy weather. A weather forecast for hot and humid can turn into cold and clammy once one gets east of the Parkway.

When I was a kid my father explained that where you went on the shore depended upon your nationality. Italians went to Belmar, Jews went to Bradly Beach, Irish went to Avon, Methodists went to Ocean Grove. Today it's more catch as catch can, hordes of drivers looking for parking spaces less than a mile from the beach. Since my father couldn't swim and the rest of the family got sunburned within a few minutes of arrival, our trips to the shore were limited to semi-annual visits. My most memorable trip to the shore is the time we arrived at the beach, my brother stepped on a bee, and the family immediately went home.

As I got older my father discovered a bed and breakfast (they didn't call them that then) that was at the Irish contingent of the shore. I remember watching television with nuns that year.

If you don't go to the shore you can delight in the fact that the roads are empty and you can go anywhere and nothing is crowded. One of the secrets of living in New Jersey is the pleasure of not going to the shore.

Whenever you ask someone what they enjoy doing most they always say "walking on the beach". What is it with walking on the beach?

Pepper plants

Took a picture of my plants again this year and they are featured in the other blog. It's pretty bad when you realize you'll never look as good as Anthony Weiner.

Motorcycles

Viewers of television in New Jersey have lately been subjected to this ad about sharing the road with motorcycles. I guess it is trying to show that your grandmother, doctor and accountant can ride motorcycles. True, due to the overall greying of America and the higher costs of owning a motorcycle, the young, tattooed toughs that we think of as motorcycle riders may be an out of date image.

Still, I have to say my mother never rode a motorcycle and I can't think of anyone I know who has a mother that rides one. Hence, there is a certain falseness to the thought that most people's grandmothers ride motorcycles. Except in television situation comedies.

Television sets

I guess I come from the old school. You buy a toaster, you keep it til it breaks. You buy a stereo, you keep it and all the components until they break. I am on my fourth TV and I've been very happy with it. Planned to keep it til it broke.

Lately, however, I've noticed something is wrong. When I watch a ball game I can see the home team's score but not the visiting team's. I see a show with three people talking and the person in the middle looks okay but I can only see the right side of the face of the person sitting on the left and the left side of the face of the person sitting on the right. Either that or the program is letter boxed with a small viewing area with black on the upper and lower parts of the screen.

Yes, I have an analog TV and I feel society is pushing me to go with one of those LED deals. At least my toaster hasn't gone digital yet. Gosh darn it. One day I may even have to upgrade from Windows 95.

The silly season

First we had the story of the head of the International Monetary Farm chasing a maid up a hotel corridor at noon on a weekeday, like in a French movie. Then the news that Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child of his maid. Now the latest news that dear Queen Elizabeth is visiting a stud farm in Ireland. Sex is everywhere.

Last week I was taught about pantyliners. Although I think of myself as a man of the world, it took the Soap Net's Saturday showing of the Gilmore Girls to teach me that such a product existed. I love watching the commercials of programs that are supposed to be seen exclusively by women. It is like taking a voyeuristic look at something that older male bachelors are not supposed to know about. Now whenever I see a woman I wonder. "Is she wearing a pantyliner?" As Jean Shepherd used to say, it must be the silly season.

Yugoslavia sculpture

I discovered this blog with pictures of weird Tito era sculpture. Hot peppers go onto porch this week.

Excess baggage

I have discovered a new find. A terribly British travel show, available as pod casts (including Itunes). They have different guests each week, and it reminds me of an older time when loyal subjects visited the colonies. The show has a Graham Greene feel but it entertaining. Sometimes the accents can be a bit heavy. On BBC 4.