Witty traffic signs

 Driving on New Jersey interstates and the Turnpike, I notice that there are witty highway signs. It reminds me of when I was a tot and we read the Burma Shave signs out loud in the family Fairlane. 

They don't really bother me but I can see that they are a distraction. While trying to read the sign and perhaps "get" the joke a cat could run out on the road, unnoticed until too late. Apparently, the federal highway administration is none too pleased. 

It's supposed to snow tomorrow

 

After a year without snow of any sort there is a special excitement in the air today. The store is overloaded with people, banging into each other's carts or blocking traffic with a horizontal cart in the vegetable section. I have located my snow shovel and found my heavy-duty gloves. Turns out the heavy-duty gloves, after seeing many hours of combat, have a scar that I neatly mended with duct tape. 

The news outlets are having a field day. Since Saturday we have been inundated with news about the upcoming snow event. I told the cashier at the liquor store (I had to stock up for the emergency) that I hope we don't get too much snow. "Oh crabapples, it's not going to snow, they're only trying to scare us!"

Perhaps we are exaggerating the upcoming storm. Still, it's exhilarating to think that tomorrow I'll be wearing those gloves and shoveling out the Honda along with the other neighbors. Not as much fun as being a kid who gets the day off school. No, I'm not wearing my pajamas backwards. 

Saying goodbye to the holidays

 

Now it's time to start throwing out Christmas effluvia. As well as finding space on my limited table tops and cabinets for my new possessions. As a kid I remember taking down the Christmas tree while singing Christmas carols backwards. Anyhoo, here is a link to a stirring and moving poem I wrote about the end of the season. 

How will 2024 work out

A year ago, I prognosticated a moderate increase in the market. I was far too pessimistic compared to what actually happened.  

My predictions for December 31, 2023:

Dow Jones           36000

S and P                4500

NASDAQ           10800

Unemployed         5%

Microsoft             300

Texas Crude Oil    90

CPI                       5%

Here are the end of year numbers for 2023:

Dow Jones           37690

S and P                4770

NASDAQ           15011

Unemployed         3.7%

Microsoft             376

Texas Crude Oil    71.32

CPI                       3.1%

Here are my predictions for the end of year 2024:

Dow Jones           40000

S and P                4850

NASDAQ           17800

Unemployed         5%

Microsoft             400

Texas Crude Oil    90

CPI                       3%

Recommendation: Small cap mutual funds 

In 2024 the Eagles will get killed off in the playoffs, Biden will be re-elected, the media will tire of AI but reference librarians will be nervous about their jobs. Russia will sign a treaty giving them Crimea and some land in eastern Ukraine, but NATO type troops will sit at the hard border guaranteeing most of that country relative security. 

Christmas grumbling

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From a few years back, an oldie but goodie. This blog talks about the pleasure of giving cruel Christmas gifts.

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Being on the receiving end of present giving, I would like to grumble about food baskets. They are fine in the corporate world but should not be hoisted on unsuspecting family members. The basket is too big and I never know what to do with them. They are filled with crummy confetti (comprising 90% of the volume of the basket) and the the sizes of the packages make an airline look generous.

Editor's note: Friday evening we will have the end of year stock numbers. Probably have my predictions out early Saturday. I know a lot of money managers rely on them. 😉

Christmas letters I still send out Christmas cards and having no spouse or children I am at a loss on what to say. Thankfully I travel and my travels at least give me something to recount on my Christmas card notes.

the Day After Thanksgiving

The day after Thanksgiving, now called "Black Friday," is one of America's half holidays. Some people get it off, some people don't get it off. The schools are off, some, but not all, businesses are off. Retail is open and most stores, at least the places I went to today, were extremely busy. The mall was jammed with people. Not just with lookey loos either, there were long lines to buy things at J.C. Penneys. J.C. Penneys! I thought it had died!

At the mall, I bought a couple of calendars, an easy holiday gift for people who are hard to buy for. And I got the second one for half price. The Chinese food was good and luckily, I found the last empty table in the food court.

I have many memories of this day. It was the day my mother took my brother and me to Radio City Music Hall on a bus where we saw a movie and the Rockettes Christmas Show. At my first job in a library I was put on the periodical desk where I was extremely busy pulling magazines. This day used to be very busy one in public libraries. The kids, home from university, would gather there and in the stores downtown and regale each other with college stories.

For families, the day after Thanksgiving can be a disjointed day. The kids are off, Daddy is off, but Mommy can be chained to her desk at the office.

In Denver I worked in an office where the fathers all came around on this day to collect Mommy's paycheck and the family had a quick lunch together in the cafeteria. I was entrusted with writing a column for the Denver branch in the house organ, Title Data Deeds I wrote in my little column how nice it was to meet all the fathers and children on the day after Thanksgiving. Quietly the next year the staff got that day off. I always attributed this change in the schedule to my witticism.

Editor's note: I never understood why libraries are now closed on this day.

Oh to have children

The other day I had a morning doctor appointment and I had to use the ice scraper to get my windshield clean. "Oh", I said, "To have a daughter. She would pick me up at home and whisk me to the doctor's and sit dutifully with me at the office. She would impress the other patients with her daughterly helpfulness. Last summer I looked out on my backyard and said, "Oh to have a son to mow the lawn".

As I stand in the kitchen cutting onions and peppers I say, "Oh I wish I had a daughter. She would have me over for dinner and fill my refigerator with leftovers for the next week." As I check the air in my tires I say "Oh, to have a son to do this for me!"

I talked to someone who has children. She hears, "Oh Mom can you help me with the rent? The dentist bill was higher than I thought." From her son she hears, "Oh Mom, Little Mary has her heart set on dancing lessons and could you help us out a little with this one? You'll be invited to her recitals."

I asked my friend if they helped with the lawn and the car. She asked me on what planet did I live on.

This morning I was woken up by the neighbor's barking Fox terrier. Oh to have a dog!