Of cabbage night and "Spare"

 

One of the most terifying nights for a kid growing up in the late 50s was cabbage night. It was spoken about all over Fanny Hillers School. This was the night when all the juvenile delinquents marauded around town, putting soap writing on car doors, smashing pumpkins and even breaking windows. Soon it will be October 30, cabbage night. Many years later, I heard of a town where kids put "for sale" signs in front of all the houses on a couple of streets. Seems the father of one of the kids was a realtor and kept his signs in the garage. 

Finally we have a release date for "Spare", the forthcoming book by Prince Harry. People tottering on death will now have a reason to live into the new year as the release date for the book is January 2023. Cute title, named after the old expression about the heir and the spare. However, George the son of William is now the spare. 

It's a tricky thing for Harry. If the book has too much tattle tale, it could banish him from the Coronation, with all the Netfix footage it can provide. Still, you have to give the public something they don't already know. After all the book will not be inexpensive, at least in the beginning. Perhaps a story about him and William smoking pot or a cute story about Queen Elizabeth bathing him on boxing day.  The night Diana got drunk and threw a plant out the window at Buckingham Palace might fit the bill. The time Prince Philip punched out a waiter in the King's Arms in Leeds has never been fully told. I can't wait to read it. 

Editor's note: In the suburbs, it's called mischief night. 

Spotted lantern fly

 

There he is. Our least favorite aspect of wildlife.  I was just sitting on the bench in a park and said to myself, "Haven't seen any of those things so far. Maybe we won't get as many this year." Then I walked on the blacktop around the lake and I spotted one. I smashed it with my foot. It was easy. Usually when I try to step on an insect it flies away. This guy just sat there and splat. Death on the trail.  I must have nailed five of them. One of them flew away and I followed him to the grass. He flew away again. Finally on the third try you could hear harps. 

Now when parents take the kids to the park they can add "Step on the spotted lantern flies, kids!" The kids will have a swell time running up and down the trail pulverizing the critters. Later when the kids are home, Mom asks Pop "I've never seen the kids so excited and aggressive. What were you guys doing out there?"

Pop replies, "Just doing what we were told to do on tv. Killing those spotted things.  And we all had a swell time." I wonder if you can eat them. 

Editor's note: Just spotted my first spotted lanternfly August 17, 2023

The queen is dead

Just reading the itinerary of the royal corpse. I am getting bored with coverage of the royal funeral. I promise to turn the channel on any more news of the goings on of the Windsor's. 

I think it's time Harry and Meghan get jobs. Meghan could try to resurrect her acting career and Harry could start up a chain of fish and chips shops. I miss Arthur Treacher's. Of course, that would entail real work. People get tired of dilettantes who only do things so they have content to make their stories watchable on Netflix. 

Editor's note: I admit I can't get enough of it. 

Getting a real id.

 

I guess it's sort of like a TSA Pre-check in that it's a prestige item or id that you don't need and don't have to pay for, but you figure might come in handy sometime. Foregoing Pre-Check for now. Taking your shoes off is a nice aerobic while you are at the airport. I used to get it free when I was using United. Occasionally it came in handy, I don't fly as much now, both parents in their graves and I'm too cheap to pay $75.

Anyway, the sort of domestic equivalent is getting a REAL ID. I saw somewhere that you could get a REAL ID in New Jersey. I thought it would come in handy. I won't have to bring my Passport now when I go from state to state. That means I won't leave my passport in a hotel or bar somewhere. It will be home instead, nuzzled into its home. I found the website and made an appointment for REAL ID.    

I went through the list of things I had to bring. Passport, driver's license, bank statement. I brought paper documents, but I wonder if they would accept pictures from web pages. I noticed one clerk putting his hands between him and a proffered cell phone. I guess they don't want to read from your cell phone. They don't require a Social Security card but will accept a 1099 form that had it written on it. Still, none of the clerks were interested in looking for my Social Security number. Once they had the passport, all systems were on go.  

So, let's go through my day. The parking lot was busy, but I managed to squeeze next to a pickup truck. Immediately I walked to what I thought was the correct building. A man asked me what I was looking for. I said, "Real ID". I was standing on the side of the vehicle inspection center garage. He pointed me to the Motor Vehicles office. "It's that way, bub"

There was a line of one person outside the main entrance. When he entered, I followed in behind him. No point wasting all that air conditioning. I noticed the smell of something I later identified as pot near the inside door.  I said to myself that must be the local dispensary.  Or at least customers of that establishment.

I first waited in a short line while the clerk dealed with a young man with a difficult and complicated problem. I believe she told him he had to go to Trenton. Turning to me she looked for my name in the book. She found it!  I was quickly shown the line for REAL ID. 

A family having a lively conversation in Urdu was at the head of the next line. The daughter appeared to be the peacemaker. Soon it was my turn, I saw the next clerk. She looked at my stuff and gave me a tiny slip of paper and told me to sit in the chairs and wait for my number to be announced or put on one of the tv screen.

One change from the last time I went is that they no longer call you on the cell phone. Security concerns, perhaps.

After about half an hour I noticed my number was on the board. A minute later I heard my number on the speakers. I was a tight squeeze getting to the final desk. This time the clerk typed and took photos of my stuff. She took my picture. I looked grumpy. 

"If you don't like your picture I can take it again" the clerk offered. Sweet,   She took a second picture and I was all smiles. She said I would get my new license in the mail. She then gave me a sheet which I signed. Apparently that sheet was my temporary license. The cost was eleven dollars. They give you credit for your prior driver's license payment. Unfortumately, I don't think it moves up the date of your driver license expiration date. That would be nice. 

Editor's note: I wrote another blog on motor vehicles in 06. Apparently they used to call your cell phone back in the day.

Its all about the schools

This year, in addition to inflation, school issues are expected to be on the Republican agenda in the November elections. With Trump's troubles, and the possible lessening of inflation and covid issues, our children's education will be a major source of election rhetoric. According to the campaign ads our innocent virginal children are being subject to liberal proselytizing on gays, blacks, and trans gender issues. 

When I was in school, the civil rights movement, homosexuality and certainly trans issues never came up in the classroom. Gays and transexuals were limited to the hotbeds of depravity that emanated east of the Hudson River. We did get a smattering of sex education in health class. I remember an embarrassed gym teacher drawing a picture of a woman's vagina on the blackboard. Mostly we were taught we should not drink, buy a car, or have sex while we were in high school.  

There was a minor protest among the hip kids in junior year and the principal consented by adding one class in black history as a senior year elective. There they learned about Martin Luther King and people of his ilk. 

My theory is that this interest in childhood education started with covid. Before covid the kids were trundled off to school and out of their parent's hair and the parents got the occasional report card indicated the kids were doing well enough to go to college. Parents had no idea what those teachers were teaching and they were as happy as clams. 

The trouble started when the kids were being taught online. Occasionally while watering the flowers or carrying the laundry Mom would glance at the home computer and see what the kids were learning at online school. One day she saw a picture of Martin Luther King. "Well I guess they have to teach them that" she says. The next day she glances at the screen and she sees Malcom X. "Malcom X!" Mother cries. In subsequent days she sees the Stonewall riots on the screen. Then she spots the words "transsexuals". "What! mother cries. I didn't know they were getting all this in school."

The Republicans now have a new selling point. They will shield the children of America from gay rights, transsexualism and radical Black dogmas. Mom and Dad will be scared. They may not pull their kids out of public school but they will vote Republican in November.

Them's the breaks

 

It looks like I'm going to have to get a haircut and start combing my hair. The Boris Johnson look is now going out of style now that dear Boris is headed to the ashcan of history.  One politcal truism is that is better to be lucky than to be right. Brexit was a lousy idea, especially when Covid caused major disruptions in supply and labor. The Russian war made things worse. The knowledge that two sovereign parts of the United Kingdom, Northern Ireland and England had a tariff between them did not help things. Then there were the Covid parties at 10 Downing Street when normal people could not visit their own dying relatives. America again has the pleasure of observing Britain's troubles. Them's the breaks. 

A gnomes village

Traipsing through my local park a few months ago I spotted a gnomes village. It seems to be collecting more stuff and expanding. It has yet to be discovered by the camera crews and YouTubers that go for these types of things so I am not revealing the exact location. Sort of cute. I had to look up the word "gnomes" on the Internet.