It's beer o'clock

The Oxford English dictionary has added some words to its online version. One of the more notable ones is beer o'clock. It means simply that it's time for beer. After one has been toiling at work or at a task and one is happily finished for the day, comes a moment of happiness.

"What time is it?" says Frank.
Joe, looking at his watch replies, "It's beer o'clock!"
Later at the tavern, the pair reminisce over the day.
"Boy we almost ran out of sheet rock!' says Frank.
"Well at least there was nothing left over, waste not want not" says Joe after quaffing a few.
"Let me get the next round", the bartender offers.
Suddenly, the mood changes. The door opens and a harried middle aged woman enters, accompanied by two crying children. She speaks to Frank.
"So here you are! You promised to take the kids to bible study and now I'm late for needlepoint!" She hands the whiny children over to the father.
Frank, the wife, and the kids depart the bar.
"Happy beer o'clock!" Joe shouts to his buddy.

Dismaland

Apparently, Dismal Land has turned out to be a huge hit. Thousands of people are lining up to see what is apparently a Britisher's image of a good time.

It's almost as much fun as owning Asian stocks.

Putting socks on with wet feet

I was recently discussing the merits of work versus retirement. I said the worst parts of going to work are getting up and trying to get to work on time. Especially when you are in a hurry and :
1) Not having time to dry your socks after the shower so you find yourself putting socks on wet feet. The socks cling to your feet and become immovable. The absolute worst thing is when they tear and you don't have time to put on a different pair of socks.

2) Getting outside and there is a sheet of ice on your windshield. You are too late for work to let the defroster do it's thing so you scrape your windshields, back and front.

3) You hear on the radio that there is a traffic jam on the highway. You figure, "Oh they are always behind. By now the roads are smooth sailing."  Then you get into a traffic jam exactly where they said it would be.

The best parts of getting to work are:

1) When you wake up in time and are able to have a second cup of coffee and maybe even eggs.

2) When you are late to work but none of the supervisors are due in. Coming in late can be like a tree falling in the forest.

3) Getting to work and you hear a fresh piece of gossip. Gossip at work makes the entire day worthwhile.

So there they are. The pros and cons of going to work everyday versus retiring.

Male menopause

I have watched the Republican debate and had been perplexed about what all these older and seemingly wealthy men have to be so angry about. The Donald may be everyone's cranky uncle but they all seem a little cranky.

Here is a summary of what I see as the main policy statements of the evening. The assembled gentleman want to:
Kill Obamacare.
Burn Planned Parenthood to the ground.
Dump the Iran agreement and replace it with boots on the ground in the middle east. In order for America to win back it's place as a world leader we need soldiers on the ground in Syria, Iraq, and Iran. 500,000 millenials in uniform is one way to get them out of their parent's basements!
Put a Berlin type wall between Mexico, California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas.
Make abortion illegal once again.

I don't know. Sounds like they are aiming at older white men who are suffering from male menopause. Time for another Pabst.

Back scratching, airports, tunnels and foreign policy

Back in the day, Lyndon Johnson would grab a Senator by the arm and say,
"You know I landed in Memphis Airport last week  and was thinking, my they could use a new runway and a terminal down here."
"My thinking exactly Mr. President."
"You know if you could help me on this here civil rights bill we might find some money to help pay for your improvements in Memphis", the President would say.
Next month the civil rights legislation was passed and the next summer federal funds would became available to double the capacity at Memphis Airport.

Now our president needs the help of Chuck Schumer on the Iran deal. Israel's close friend in the Senate is suddenly being enticed with money to rebuild LaGuardia Airport. Somehow Hudson tunnel money is surfacing again.
Somewhere in Washington Joe Biden and Chuck Schumer are talking turkey. I wouldn't be surprised if Senator Menendez gets out of legal trouble too. Everybody's back needs scratching once and a while.

Editor's note: Well it looks like my theory was wrong. LBJ had a complacent Congress unlike today. Schumer and Memendez are fighting the Iran deal and no federal money for the tunnel.

Vacuuming

Most of my unit is what can charitably be called "hardwood floors" and I am pretty good about maintaining them on a weekly basis. My bedroom and home office have "wall to wall carpeting" which requires the work of a vacuum cleaner. I have a powerful, if noisy, Eureka commercial vacuum that I bought eight years ago at the hospital auxiliary flea market. Every three months I whip it out, move stuff out of the way and put it to work. Once every season I vacuum.

Today I did my semi-annual emptying of the thing. It doesn't take a bag I just open up the bag and dump two years worth of crud out of the bag. Today I emptied the bag, the shredder, and vacuumed the rugs. I am a lazy vacuumer. I don't move the computer desk or anything too cumbersome. I figure on my upcoming ten year clean I'll clean the rugs. Perhaps when I retire.

My Flip Phone

                                   

Yes I have a flip phone. It makes calls. It gets calls when it is on. I never set it up to text or make pictures. It's cheap and I'm perfectly happy.

It's hard because todo el mundo has fancy schmancy phones. They have iphones, they have Androids. People sit around all day comparing their cellphones. I feel left out at times. I read in the news that Lindsey Graham has a flip phone. Well he had a flip phone.

Last week I saw a movie in one of those new fangled movie houses where they have airplane style seats with foot rests that pull up. When I was leaving I noticed I no longer had my flip phone. My neighbor found it in the grill of the chair. "Wow a flip phone! I didn't know they still made those!"

I am on the Internet at home. I am at the Internet at the office. I don't need to have the Internet when I'm eating eggs in a diner. As we get older we become like our fathers. We still had a black and white tv in 1967.

Editor's note: My flip phone, a nifty clock radio and a cabinet that could use a paint job.