The end of the American century

One hundred years ago the United States, under the leadership of Woodrow Wilson, entered World War I.  For one hundred years, American was the leader of the free world with all the responsibility that entails. Today the American century has ended. For better or worse, we are now an independent country, responsible for our own needs and nobody elses. 

Like a mother who cuts her daughter loose financially, or the man who buys a motorcycle and ends his membership in the car pool, we are now a world unto ourselves. Influenced only by our new leader, Russia, we, like Bulgaria, are now a minor world power. 

There are nice things about our new status. We can now be selfish and concentrate on ourselves and our own needs. "Sorry, I can't coach Little League this year, don't you know Trump is president now?"

"Sorry, this year we are taking a family vacation and leaving Aunt Louise to fend for herself in the nursing home."

I suspect we have not seen the end of those pink hats. At least I won't have to wear one. There are advantages in being a man. 

The replacement for Obamacare

Looks like they are going to repeal Obamacare. Replacing it will be difficult, since Obamacare attempts to be self-funding, and has lots of revenue raisers like fines and taxes. Republicans will have a hard time replacing the program because of their hatred of taxes. Luckily, I have come up with a replacement for Obamacare.

When you go to a doctor you normally fill in your insurance information. If you don't have any health insurance you would simply fill out a form to provide funding for health procedures. It would ask what church or synagogue you belong to and what fundraising apparatus you would like to be used for your care. For example you could pick "car washes" or "pancake breakfasts", "bingo", or "spaghetti dinners". These functions could be held every week and thus provide health care for those parishioners without health insurance.

It would add so much to our lives, filled with fundraising activities. Our taxes would go down and we would be busy bees.
"Where are you going, Jack?"
"I'm going to buy tomato sauce for my nephew's spaghetti dinner. He needs a hernia operation."

I am entering the 21st century

For the past few years I have been bucking the tide. I have been a hip baby boomer who doesn't have a smart phone. It has become my personal eccentricity. Like the friend who doesn't do emails (you have to call her) or the lady at work who doesn't have cable (You can't tell her about Better Things ) or the man at work who doesn't own a car (you have to avoid him around five o'clock or he may ask you to drive him home) it has become a personality quirk.

Looking at a list I wrote a few years ago, I have been grudgingly acquiring the mandatory things someone in my social class should own.  Yes I now have HDTV (the networks forced me into it by changing the size of the screen), a GPS for the car (great to have) and now I am going to have a smart phone with texting and other things. No longer will I disappoint people with the knowledge that they can't text me. Now when I sit at the bar I can be one of the many guys staring at their smart phones. I can even compare features and talk "smart phones" with the gang.

So far it has been a rocky road. I got a notice on my front door saying UPS was here but couldn't deliver the phone. I went on the Internet and said I'd pick it up at the UPS place near the Sculpture Garden. I arrived at the back entrance and the building was fenced off so I had to get back in my car and drive a mile to get to the customer entrance.

When I got home the phone wouldn't get past the set up phase. I brought the phone outside but had no more success. After chatting with two different customer reps, the second one determined I needed a Sims card (the directions said a Sims card was optional). She said I should go to the local wireless store. It is still snowing, so, prudence being the better part of valor, I'm waiting for the snow to stop.

One day I'll have a smart phone. I will again have the proper accoutrements for my demographic.

Next day: Setting up my smart phone. Turns out I had nothing wrong but a weak satellite connection. Bought a case. Yes I can make calls, get calls, and I might have even sent a message. Sadly I am in the 2G category and in 2017 I was supposed to have moved up to 4G to keep up with my demographic. I'm still behind.

Predictions end of year 2017

This year holds with it much uncertainty as we see the safety net come tumbling down and a follower of the Russian state take control of our country. The conventional wisdom is that it will be a good year for stocks and the capitalist class. The calendar dictates it is time for my annual economic predictions, so here we are.

In red are the numbers at the close of today, the last business day of 2016. In black are my predictions from last year and  this time next year.

Entity      No. today     My prediction a year ago     Prediction a year from now.
S and P     2239             2100                                      2400
Dow         19763          18500                                    20100
NAS          5383            5000                                      5500
MSFT        63.55           60                                         60
Oil             53.89           60                                          60
Unemployed  4.4%       5%                                         4.3%

So it looks like I under priced the market. This year I think things will get better too, at least for those of us who dabble in such things.

The Philadelphia Eagles will get in the playoffs this year. The left wing of the country will be noisy and hold lots of demonstrations in the coming year. For the Trump voters it will be a nerve wracking time, following the old adage "be careful what you wish for". Happy New Years. May we have a nuclear free winter.

Christmas clutter

I don't know why, but this year my place seems to be inundated with Christmas clutter. I just came in from the cold and the first thing I did was, crunch, step on three Christmas candy canes in a bow. They were so cute before I pulverized them. Where did they come from? They were a goodie bag that I was handed when I walked into the work holiday party. And last night I stumbled over wrapping paper. Why are there all those boxes blocking the way to the kitchen? They are the boxes my out of town gifts came in.

I have Christmas letters on the floor of the living room, empty candy boxes on top of the tv, and my one empty chair has Christmas record album inner sleeves that should go with the albums I hope to play tomorrow.

Things are worse for me since I am a December birthday baby and still have birthday cards and birthday gifts on the floor of my home office. Once I get all my Christmas gifts in the next few days I will have more clutter. Plus I have all the gifts I have yet to wrap. I hope the tape holds out.  If I can find it in all the clutter.

I know. The secret is organization. And getting rid of stuff. Tomorrow I'll try to get organized. Happy Kringles, Mr. Mustache.

Adult school

Apparently, millennials don't know how to do some of the things we adults know how to do. I was just reading this article about how lame millennials are. Apparently they don't know how to make a bed, set a table or change a tire.
In horror, I realized that I have grown terribly rusty myself on these apparent life skills.
Skill:                     Last time I did it
Making a bed        The last time I really made my bed was in 1998 when my        mother was visiting from Texas.

Setting a table       The last time I set a table was in October.

Changed a tire       The last time I changed a tire was when I owned the Escort in                                1995.

Changing a diaper  I have never changed a diaper.

Put up Christmas lights outside     I helped put up Christmas lights the day after Thanksgiving in 2010.

Cooked breakfast for a hungry group of people   I have never cooked breakfast     for a hungry group of people.

Carved a turkey                              I have never carved a turkey.

Made dinner rolls for Thanksgiving dinner   Last month I made dinner rolls for a hungry group of people.

Put up a Christmas tree                   I helped put up a Christmas tree last week.

Chopped down a Christmas tree     I chopped down a Christmas tree in 1984.

Change a smoke detector                I changed a smoke detector last year.

Grow vegetables                              I grew tomatoes two years ago.

Fold sheets                                       I have never folded sheets.

The four rules of life

Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. Never make a Secretary of Defense a man called "Mad dog."  Just saying. 

Editor's note: Nelson Algren wrote the three rules of life.